Worried

It's been five days now
and I still haven't heard from him.
He has not even been online
to read the email I sent.

Is he in the hospital?
Is he dead?
Is someone he loves dead?
Has he been suffering?

Or...

Is it just that, for whatever reason,
he hasn't been online?


See? See?!?!
This is why
I work so hard
at not letting
anyone know how I feel.
If I could just believe
that he don't like me
I could get over it.
And if I could believe
that it would never work
even if he did,
I could move on.
And I've considered that.
But what's on my mind more
is whether he's ok.
There's no one I can ask.
No way for me to find out.
I'm this close to calling
every hospital in the area.
Except that feels so invasive.

What do I do?
Nothing to be done.
I just keep on going.

Dammit.