to sleep, perchance to dream

what do you think it feels like to die?
not the often long process toward death,
but the exact moment of it?
the sudden quiet of the heart.
is it that way, even?
does the last beat scream?
or does it whisper?

do you feel pain?
do you feel something approximating peace?
do you fade delicately into that blackness
or does it slash its way brutally
through your last thoughts
and swallow you into itself?

i suppose it is the luxury
of the living to contemplate dying.

but i am genuinely curious.
is it different if you die at your hands
than if you die at someone else's?
or from cancer, a heart attack, a stroke?
does dying feel different depending on
the circumstances under which
you find yourself dying?

do you even notice you're dying?
what really happens?
do you lose consciousness
before the heart actually stops...
or do you become horrifyingly,
fantastically aware of every small thing,
more so than you ever did
your whole life before that moment?
is there a hanging second between
the heart stopping and
the brain shutting off completely?
can you feel your heart stop
and realize you just died?

do some kinds of living
hurt more than dying ever could?