This might be the only way

i have made fool of myself
longer than i should have.
i have endured all the pain
i should never have.
i have blinded myself
when the truth was
slapping me on and on.
why did i ever refuse
to see the truth?
why did i ever
have to believe in hope?
false hope.
foolish me.
again and again,
i asked God for a sign...
to tell me what to do...
to make me understand...
could i have just
misunderstood the signs?
could i have just ignored them?
foolish me.
and now...
now that i have had enough...

now that i have had enough...
the only way to free myself from you...
is to hate you...
i have to...
even when there
is no reason to...
other than me loving you,
so damn much...
i have to hate you.
and i will.
this time.
for good.