Remotely Retarded

Whenever I watched my TV, I had to sit close next to it and take up all the radiation it emits in order for me to switch channels when I want to. It’s a handed down TV and its remote was barely working when I got it till it finally died. The back cover of the battery compartment had been broken and the batteries had to be taped to it to keep them from falling off, and for added fun, you have to slap the remote against your palm to get it to work. After a few weeks, the slapping no longer worked and the remote just stopped operating. The former owner of the TV said the remote had been cranky for sometime already so I never bothered with it anymore thinking it had finally given way. I just contented myself with a remoteless TV until recently…. A friend sent me a bunch of rechargeable batteries along with a re-charger (ok, this is not just an abrupt shift of story but this part is important). A few packs of double As (AA) and a set of triple As (AAA). Now, the AAs are for the cd player but the triples, I’d have to find a use for them. So, looking around for anything to stuff with the smaller batteries, I happened to chance upon the old dusty remote and didn’t waste time. Wasn’t sure they would fit but they did. I secured the battery compartment with a piece of cardboard and a rubber band. I clicked and it happened! After almost two years of manually laboring the TV channels, of suffering and utter ignorance, I came to know. There was nothing wrong with the remote it just needed new batteries.