Tuesday, April 4, 2006
What if the one you want, the one thing you need, the one thing you think could save you, is the exact thing that scares you? I feel it. I'm feeling it right now. In the short course of my existence, I have loved only twice. The first time was fortunate enough to have had closure. The second time...is still waiting for it. Still waiting. But I feel it's almost there. I have had very many painful experiences on both of them, although there are those that could not be denied as happiness. And as I stand here, still alone, I am looking for the same thing that had caused me pain. And as I look for it, there is this feeling that is out of place. Fear. Doubt. I fear the same thing I seek for. I doubt that of which is the only thing I should believe in. Love.
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