Tuesday, April 4, 2006
So tonight, I was lying in bed, just thinking about alot of things, and I feel that I may have discovered something terrible about the universe. It is all... random. It is all an accident. Nothing has any reason or rationale behind it... maybe it really is just a lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. That is the only thing I can think of that would justify the awful unfairness of it all. The bull shit behind it. One day I will accidentally fall in love again, and probably have children. What will I tell them about life and death? How can I explain to them that it doesn't make sense, that it can't make sense, that it never will? That I have been exhausted trying to figure it out? How can I make them feel secure and safe in a world where I cannot guarantee anything beyond the past? And when they find out that the world isn't safe, that it isn't secure, that accidents happen and that innocent, beautiful people die every day... will they think I lied to them? Will I have become apart of the injustice?
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