Rant About Tonight

Should you read this, know that I am not mad at you... and this isn't meant to be hurtful, or mean its only my feelings right now, at this moment, and my opinions on some things from tonight.

First and foremost I want to say, that I am not mad at you, upset maybe... but that will pass come morning, but I think right now is a perfect time to get some things out in the open, and be honest with you. Cause, the things I say here are things I think often, but don't want to upset you, well you didn't mind upseting me, so I guess this is fair game.

You say that I don't know what I am talking about when I offer my opinion, well first off let me say, that you asked for it, and I gave it to you, and up to the point where you asked for my opinion I kept my mouth shut. Secondly how the hell are you going to tell someone that there opinion is wrong?

You are always quick to tell me that you are more mature that I am, yea in age maybe you are, but that dosn't make you right. and if you honestly think that, why do you come to me for advice? You make me think that I don't know what I am talking about... I have enough people who make me think that, I don't need you "my friend" to make me think that also. I am not going to say that I am always, or ever for that matter, right I am however going to say that when I tell you what I think, you should respect that just like I respect what you tell me. And with the whole throwing in my face that you are older, and more mature, why the hell do you get mad, when someone says something about your age? And on this subject if you truly are more mature than I am and other people my age, why the hell do you hang out with us?
Maybe you should get some people your own age to hang out with, and if you choose to keep hanging out with us, don't keep telling us that you are more mature just cause you are older
(I believe that maturity does not depend on age but on experiences) and let me tell you just cause you are older, don't think you are more mature than me you have no idea half the shit I have been though. I was forced to grow up and become mature at a very early age, and that is why people twice my age (you for example) come to me for advice, and call me a friend, cause I don't act like a 21 year old but I act like someone who is closer to your age. And I'm sorry that every once in awhile, I act my age, and it seems to piss you off to no end, well I'm sorry, but even though I am more mature than the average 21 yr old, dosn't mean that I am not still 21, and don't have the right to act my age every once in awhile. And also, don't forget that I was forced to grow up many years ahead of my real age, at an early age, and if you know anything about people like that, then you know that at times the child in them comes out, and they just want to have the fun that they missed out on growing up

You tell me I don't know you and the other person Well no fucking shit, I have said that many times but yet you keep asking me for my opinion well see the first thing i talked about, and you'll figure out where this is going

You tell me to think about other people and not just myself.... HELLO News flash, if I was only thinking of myself, I would not have said that all I want is for you to be happy, even if that means sacraficing my happiness does that sound like something someone who only thinks of themselfs would say? I care about you and all my friends more than I care about myself,
I go out of my way to be there for you guys, and do things for you guys, and i never once say anything about it, or tell you that I really have other things I need to be doing cause to me, things i do for you all are 100 times more important than anything else i could be doing, again does this sound like a self centered person? But what does sound like one to me, is someone who wants someone else to tell them things they want to hear. Who says that they don't go backwards in a relationship, well if you love someone, and they think its better to be just friends, you will be there friend, and not expect anything else, but that is only when you love that person more than you love yourself. and only then do you truly love the person. And if you want my honest opinion, right now, you don't love the person more than you love yourself. Cause you can't seem to be ok with just being friends, even though right now that is all the other person wants. but then again maybe i don't know what I am talking about, cause I don't know the other person involved

Then the real kicker of the night, you get mad at me cause I tell you I don't want to make plans
that i am not sure I will be able to keep. Last time I checked my world didn't revolve around you, and I am not obligated to do anything for you, I do what I can do, when I can do it, and if i end up unable to do something don't fucking get pissy with me, think of all the things I do for you, and not the few things I don't. And we both know, that had I made plans with you, and something came up, you would be mad at me for it, so instead of having that happen, I did what you told me in the past to do, and not make plans till I know for sure I am free, and then you get all upset, like I am obligated to do this for you. I am your friend, not your keeper, or taxi, or whatever else you sometimes treat me as. I'm sorry you made some bad mistakes in your past, and now can't drive yourself to places you need to go, but please don't blame me for it, and don't make me feel bad if I can't take you somewhere. cause again I am not your keeper, or taxi, I am only your friend, and I do what I can for you. And that is all you should expect me to do, cause that is all I expect you to do in return.

Now again, I am not mad at you, I am just telling you how you made me feel tonight
and I am just giving you my opinion on some things, and you can take them or leave them
it's up to you. Not once did I tell you that my opinions are right. They are simply my opinions
and “The world is not run by thought, nor by imagination, but by opinion”, your opinions shape your reality and your world, and everyone has differant opinions on everything, and who can say who is right or wrong? To everyone there own opinions are right, or they wouldn't have them. But they are only right to the person who owns them. I'm sorry I won't say things you want to hear, that is not who I am, that is not the kind of friend I am... And I hope that is not the kind of friend you are either. I know what I want to hear, I don't need anyone else to tell it to me for me, what i expect from people, is there opinions, and I respect them, even if I don't like them.


I realize that some of this shows my immaturity that you talked about, but at the same time, some of this shows just how more mature I am. This was not meant to make you mad, just meant to get it off my chest