sometimes II

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only sane person in the world.
Sometimes I'm too tired to think.
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like
to live in a world where things make sense.
Sometimes I wonder if other people feel as screwed up as I do.
Sometimes I think the spirit of human beings are just amazing.
Sometimes I don't see the point in waking up.
Sometimes sleep seems like a waste of time.
Sometimes I wonder if I didn't write so much if I would drink more.
Sometimes I wonder if I will get old.
Sometimes I think I have all the answers.
Sometimes the questions are overwhelming.
Sometimes I fear having cancer.
Sometimes I say turn the music really loud.
Sometimes I think I share too much.
Sometimes I think I am a gift.
Sometimes I know it.
Sometimes I detest the wrapping paper.
Sometimes I dream about a land of smiles.
Sometimes I eat an entire bag of Doritos.
Sometimes I think I am obsessed with drinking water.
Sometimes I wonder if my friends are dissapointed in me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents hoped
I would be more than I am.
Sometimes I love my smile.
Sometimes I hate it.
Sometimes I feel really up and really down
within minutes of one another.
Sometimes I joke about being bi-polar.
Sometimes I'm sure I am.
Sometimes I dislike my family.
Sometimes I feel overwhelming anxiety and cannot breath.
Sometimes I wish I didn't feel the need to explain.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever forgive my evil father.
Sometimes I don't think of him at all.
Sometimes I cry when I think about him
Sometimes I wonder if one can really wish on a star.
Sometimes I laugh when I see funny looking people.
Sometimes I want to cry when others laugh.
Sometimes I laugh at cruel jokes.
Sometimes I wish I could be like a comedian
and say whatever came into my head.
Sometimes I eat because I'm hurting.
Sometimes I want to knock myself out
for the night so I don't have to feel.
Sometimes I wonder why nobody ever picked up
on my anxiety and depression as a child.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find peace.
Sometimes I feel really happy.
Sometimes I smile no matter what happens and mean it.
Sometimes I wonder why people want to spend time with me.
Sometimes it scares me that I may be violent
towards woman because of my father... and his father.
Sometimes I feel like I don't belong everywhere.
Sometimes I wonder why I think the things I do.
Sometimes I wonder why other people don't seem to think at all.
Sometimes I understand completley why people
become drug addicts / alcoholics etc.
Sometimes I say NO, when I wanted to say yes.
Sometimes I feel very sentimenal and wish for days gone by.
Sometimes I pretend I just don't hear stuff.
Sometimes I wish I really didn't hear.
Sometimes I don't laugh enough.
Sometimes I wonder why I don't like talking on the phone.
Sometimes I wonder why I don't always
put my keys down on the same spot.
Sometimes I think I'm crazy.
Sometimes I know I am.
Sometimes I think people wish they were me.
Sometimes I feel like an observer.
Sometimes I am the only participant.
Sometimes I wonder why I care!
Sometimes I contemplate suicide.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone would notice if I am not here.
Sometimes I hope we were all rich.
Sometimes I wish I could save the world.
Sometimes I cry for you.
Sometimes I ache inside for no reason.
Sometimes it feels like I swallowed sunshine.
Sometimes I bite my bottom lip when I'm anxious.
Sometimes I cry for no reason.
Sometimes I imagine allot of things I shouldn't be imagining.
Sometimes I laugh for obscure things.
Sometimes I wish nobody could see me.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so loud.
Sometimes I wish I could just fly away.
Sometimes I dream about evil spirits chasing me.
It is like a horror movie and only the sign of a cross
is going to save me.
Sometimes I think I am that spirit.
Sometimes I think I am that cross.
Sometimes I think God is trying to tell me something.
Sometimes I think the Devil is poking me.
Sometimes I don't want to talk.
Sometimes I can't stop.
Sometimes I know I can be whatever I want to be.
Sometimes I just have to get past this moment.
Sometimes I smile just because I am alive.
Sometimes I cry because others are dead.
Sometimes I cannot imagine ever smiling again.
Sometimes there is just so much of me I don't know how to contain it.
Sometimes I forgive and forget.
Sometimes I can only remember.
Sometimes it feels like this is only the beginning.
Sometimes it feels like this is the end.