sometimes

Sometimes I understand more than you know.
Sometimes I care more about you
more than you could possibly imagine.
Sometimes I feel thankful.
Sometimes I can see your face clearly in my mind.
Sometimes I cannot recall your voice.
Sometimes I feel loved.
Sometimes I eat ice cream at midnight.
Sometimes people irritate me.
Sometimes I wonder why people read the shit I write.
Sometimes I'm a pain in the ass.
Sometimes I regret a lot of stuff.
Sometimes I wish I were in therapy.
Sometimes I wish I slept less.
Sometimes I don't want to hear what you have to say.
Sometimes I need to.
Sometimes I should just let things go.
Sometimes I just can't.
Sometimes I wonder who will take my call at 3am.
Sometimes I feel all alone.
Sometimes I cry because you are crying.
Sometimes I enjoy being me.
Sometimes I hear my fathers voice in my head.
Sometimes I want to sit in a corner and not come out.
Sometimes I fear rejection.
Sometimes I think I've said too much.
Sometimes I don't care.
Sometimes I am scared to write how I feel
Sometimes I hate being misunderstood.
Sometimes I wish I could just be with you.

Sometimes I am amazed at my insecurity.
Sometimes I feel like I have lost my way.
Sometimes I wonder what other people are thinking at 3am.
Sometimes I wonder what my father thinks
when he looks back on his life.
Sometimes I wonder if God is a God of mercy
then why do some people suffer so much.
Sometimes I feel like a fake.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by reality.
Sometimes I really do not care what other people think.
Sometimes I get really angry and my heart pounds.
Sometimes I feel so frustrated I could scream.
Sometimes I silently scream so loud that my head hurts.
Sometimes I wonder if people will stop loving me.
Sometimes I think to myself "fuck them!"
Sometimes I just hurt.
Sometimes I just do not understand what is going on.
Sometimes I don't care.
Sometimes I love being alive.
Sometimes I know that I am my own greatest enemy.
Sometimes I feel comforted by having been true to myself.
Sometimes I close my eyes and let my imagination go.
Sometimes people seem awfully shallow to me.
Sometimes I don't seem to grasp that other people
love me with as much love, forgiveness, understanding
and compassion as I love them.
Sometimes I am jealous.
Sometimes I wonder how many pills I would have to take
to make sure I am dead when morning comes.
Sometimes I wonder if I would leave a note.

Sometimes I hate myself for even thinking about ending my life.

Sometimes I find it harder to receive than to give.
Sometimes I appreciate the little things more than the big.
Sometimes I do not know how to accept a compliment.
Sometimes I wish I could make right
everything that has ever caused you pain.
Sometimes I wish someone loved me
with as much enthusiasm as I imagine love to be.
Sometimes I'm not enough.
Sometimes I say I am fine when I am not.
Sometimes sorry isn't enough.
Sometimes I am the most together person you will ever meet.
Sometimes I read blogs and cry for people I don't know.
Sometimes I read blogs and laugh with people I have never met.
Sometimes I read blogs and think people are just whack.
Sometimes I read blogs, and worry about people I have never met.
Sometimes I'm afraid that I will get up and leave and never come back.
Sometimes I cannot believe that you cannot love me.
Sometimes I don't want any of you to know what I think.
Sometimes I am sure nobody will speak to me again
after the things I write or say.
Sometimes I am afraid.
Sometimes the silence of the night is comforting.
Sometimes the darkness clutches me in fear.
Sometimes I wish I didn't feel anything at all.
Sometimes I wish you could see me as I truly am...
Sometimes I wish you will love me anyway.