....And the Waves Rolled in Crashing on Me

I won't lie. It is hard. It is so hard to pick yourself up from being at rock bottom and keeping yourself at top. The hardest part is trying to maintain that height. It is difficult, because you know at one point you could make one false step and then sink all the way down. It is sort of like a boat. At the very beginning you could be floating prosperously and then something happens and you gradually sink, water gushing in at all sides. While at the bottom, you realize you want to patch up your holes and scars, so you begin to heal. Then you begin to come back to the top, becoming whole again. However who is to say that you won't become scarred again and sink back to the bottom? There are so many cautions and risks that it is hard to keep being optomistic. Wave after wave, I stay afloat, but what happens when another tsunami comes and I crash against the rocks? I don't know how to surivive that. I mean I am still recovering, getting better as the days pass. Yet somehow I think I will always have that one scar that will never heal. It will always remind me of stuff, as if it were blatantly cut across my hand. I would see it and be reminded constantly. I guess for those certain moments I will have to pretend I am blind. lol
Even though there are times I do feel down, I am happy. I am having fun and everyone around me tells me how I am a good person. It really helps me along. If it weren't for them I don't think I would be able to overcome anything. In the end as you know, you really only have people that love you. Everyone else just gets blended in the crowd. I am not sure if this entry makes sense to you, but it does for me.
It is important for me to get all of this out. I need to. It is better than keeping it all inside until one day I eventually explode.