Thanks

I believe that all crying does is give you
a red nose, swollen eyes and a headache.
So I don’t often cry with abandon.
I look like a crumpled ape if I do – hardly endearing.

So, I have been not crying for six weeks.
Actively not crying in between
the little leaking sessions
I have been unable to avoid.
Seems the tears were building anyway.
Cos last night I cried!
I sobbed and schnuffed
and gasped and breathed
like a pig through my blocked nose.
And all over the phone to Jon
who just kept asking if I was okay
and then telling me I was silly for thinking
I meant nothing and was pointless.
But he let me cry and not for a moment
did I feel like it mattered.

And today I feel so much better.
For the first time in ages
I can’t feel tears lurking below the surface
waiting for any excuse to pop out
and turn my face red.
Seems I needed a jolly good cry after all.
And I think it worked only cos
he doesn’t have to love me and accept me
the way my long term friends
who are actually family do.
But he did anyway.

Thanks Jon