I don't matter

I realised this weekend that I don't matter.

I am not saying I am not loved
or that people don't care
or anything negative like that.
But I don't matter.
I don't make or break a gathering;
I am not essential to
my friend's having a good time;
I do not need to be consulted
or to consult anyone
with regards to any plans;
I don't make anyone
or anything feel complete.
I don't really matter.
Not in any big,
life altering way.
To anyone.



And I think it's wonderful.
By not mattering I am also not responsible.
There is nothing I have to do
cause whether I do it or not
it will still fail or succeed.
My presence is certainly enjoyed
but if I miss an event
or a gathering
it's not actually going to matter.


It is so liberating to know this.