Things On Pages That Piss Me Off

I've noticed a disturbing trend in webpages lately. People are doing things that annoy me. Ooh, how dare they? Well, besides my own selfishness, I do honestly think
that if these things get on my nerves, there's probably at least one other person out there who empathizes with me. I mean, no matter how much you say that you're making your webpage for yourself, you know and I know damn well that you're making your webpage so people will read your crap. Er *cough* ahem, I mean... read your stuff. And you may say, "But if someone can't look past the design of my webpage, I don't want them there anyway!" And I'll respond, "Psst, once you put your writing on a webpage, the design is an integral part of it. You have to accept that and deal with it. Do you really want to know that someone passed on reading your possibly top rate (or possibly not...) writing simply because you refused to get some goddamn design help?" Now, enough with the hypothetical conversations. Let's get on to the list of grievances. This is really all in good fun, of course, and I don't mean to piss anyone off (Okay, that's not entirely true, but that's not the primary purpose), but if this leads anyone to change or even reconsider his or her nasty design habits, I will feel I have done my job. Or I would, were this my job.

Now! The list!

(1.) Due to this happening about three seconds ago,
the first thing on my list is pages that make my browser
perform illegal operations. This has been happening a lot lately,
and it's awfully annoying. And I'd like it if you'd all stop that.

(2.) White backgrounds. Ugh! So many White backgrounds! Enough said.

(3.) . Font Size code next to the blink code, this is just about the most annoying tag I can see in someone's source code. I know you think it looks pretty and all, but (a) it really doesn't, and (b) it makes it really fucking difficult to read.

(4.) Not using the "ALT" tag. When you've got your page on a slow-ass server
(and yes, it's your server. I'm on one of the fastest connections in the country, bitchass),
and you've got some pain in the ass 50K image on your page
that might be important to something, you need to tell me what it is.

(4.b.) 100K background images. It's just unnecessary.

(4.c.) Image maps with no corresponding text links. Why?
Because oftentimes you fucked up the image map code
when you ripped it out of someone else's source code.
And some people don't load images, maybe for reasons already mentioned.

(5.) Itty bitty teensy weensy frames. No one wants to scroll or hit PgDn
every five seconds. It's not attractive, and it's especially bad
if you have long pieces of text that end up being dozens of pages long.
No one wants to read that. More importantly, I don't want to read that.

(6.) Background images of which any part is any color
near the color you use for text, especially
if you don't use tables to keep your text off of that area.

(7.) Unmarked links. Using non-underlined links is okay,
and often looks nice, but when you include your non-underlined links
in a string of non-link text and/or your link color is the same as/near
the color of your text, it's just a pain in the ass.

(8.) Pop-up windows. I'm not talking about the tripod, angelfire, et cetera ones.
I'm talking about when your whole damn page is in a pop-up window.

(9.) Complete disrespect for the English language.
Now, I'll admit I'm not overly anal about this, but come on.
Yes, capital letters, punctuation, and grammar
(that's "grammar," with an "a," not an "e") really do exist.
And they're there for you to use them. So please do.
An occasional typo is easily forgivable,
but deliberately crappy English is absolutely unneeded.

(10.) When people use completely obscure fonts for their text.
I mean, how many people do you really think have Gigolo Neutral
or Fluorescent Dildo Wax on their computers?
(I really hope I'm making those names up.)

(10.b.) Fonts that aren't meant to be read.
Frilly, decorative fonts are nice for images,
or for titles, but for God's (and my) sake,
use something plain and legible for your text.

I'll be honest and admit that I've been guilty of pretty much all of these, but that was a couple years ago when the angst-driven design was "cool." But you know what? It wasn't "cool" or cute or attractive when we were fifteen, and it's just plain stupid when you're twenty. This isn't a comprehensive list. Oh, no, I'm annoyed by lots more things than this. But I figured 10 was a nice round number to stop at.