So alot has happend the past few hours and since I am real tired I don't want to type it all out, and since Helen has already said it all and said it very well, I will just copy what she said here, and more or less you will know what has happend today, and is going to happen in the coming days, and months.

I don't even know where to begin. So much is going on and things just seem to be getting worse each time the phone rings. Chris got off work early today because I ended up calling him letting know everything that is going on. Mom has been hallucinating a lot today and we went and seen her. Long story short a doctor was in there when we got there and was talking about doing something other then surgery for her sake to keep her from getting any worse and to try and avoid the surgery and any complications from it.

Well, I don't know what happened to the other option, but as it turns out they are going to go ahead and do the surgery. I feel like I gave consent to something maybe I wasn't suppose to, but I don't know if it would have made a difference or anything I don't know much yet about medical terms and operations, but all I know is I am scared, scared for mom.

Chris and I had also talked he thinks its best for me to go back with dad to Virgina when he takes mom. Turns out dad also thinks I should move down there as well. Its not going to be a permant thing just for 3-5 months. Just in case anything happens within that time I will be there and I will be able to spend more time with mom and learn to live on my own with Justice since dad has rented out the top portion of the house (Im guessing its a house divided into two apartments) So, I will have a 2 bedroom apartment upstairs from dad.

Which will give me time and everything to get on my feet, but if I don't go then I don't get to be with mom if something did happen, but if I go I don't get to be able to spend much time with Chris. Either way its going to hurt, but Chris and Dad thinks its best and so I am going to go. Chris said he would come see us when he was able to and once I get my license I will be coming up to visit.

I've not been back in Indiana for 6 months and now I am moving about 6 1/2 hours away. I know nothing bad will happen between Chris and I. We both love each other and even though we are apart we know things will still work out and we'll still be together and we will still be able to communicate thru AIM, email, and the phone.

I know its the right decision but I know when the time comes its going to hurt even more then it does now. If in the case that anything does happen to mom I will always know the right decision was made because we spent time with her after she moved to Virgina. It will also probably help her settle down a little easier then if we didn't move. Dad said it would also give me time to get on my feet. Get a job there while I am there, Get my license, and maybe I could actually pass my GED test. Just thinking about all thats been going on and whats going to happen is making me cry right now.

Everything is happening so fast I just hope my dad doesn't wanna move us all by Sunday. I'm hoping we are here at least till sometime next week so I can spend a little more time with Chris before the move. I'm not going to lie though I am terrified. Everything is going on thru my head. I am terrified of the move and something bad happening to mom. I know the next 3-5 months are going to be extremely tough and even once I move back to the louisville area are still going to be tough, because I will have to resettle once again back in Indiana. Although it will be easier to settle in Indiana then Virgina since this isn't the first time I have moved out of state and since I have lived here my whole life.

The main things I am worried about is Justice and Mom. Justice has been thru a lot as is for him being 2. He has moved 9 hours or so away and moved back and is moving again and in 3-5 months will be moving again. I just hope Mom is going to be ok and I will be able to help dad out with her while I am there as well. Its all going to be a big adjustment.

I deffinatly know I will be looking forward to the times when Chris is able to come see us or when we can go see him as well as when we get to talk on the phone and computer. Chris sent me the sweetest email which also made me cry, but a good cry. Its from a movie we both really really like its a part of the song which is in the movie. The movie is The Nightmare Before Christmas and the email he said had this part of the song in the email

If You Don't Mind
I'd Like To Join You By Your Side
So We Can Gaze Into The Stars
And Sit Together Now And Forever
Cause It's As Plain As Anyone Can See
We're Simply Meant To Be

It's never made me cry before, but tonight it did. Chris has helped me out so much and means so much to me. Without him and without Justice I wouldn't be standing right now. The two of them are my world. Chris has spent several nights with me while everything has been happening and like tonight he got off work early so we could go see mom since neither of us know whats happening or whats going to happen. He completes me and without him I don't know what I would do. I love you so much hun thanks for always being here for me and of course I will miss you every day every minute like I do now, but I will miss you and will be looking forward to when you come down. I love you!