Helen, You Say It Best.....

So I Heard This Song Today,
And It Made Me Think Of Helen,
So I Decided To Put It On Here

It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing

[CHORUS:]
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
They can never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine

[Repeat chorus twice]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

[Repeat chorus]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

Helen, You Say It Best.....

So I Heard This Song Today,
And It Made Me Think Of Helen,
So I Decided To Put It On Here

It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing

[CHORUS:]
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
They can never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine

[Repeat chorus twice]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

[Repeat chorus]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

Helen, You Say It Best.....

So I Heard This Song Today,
And It Made Me Think Of Helen,
So I Decided To Put It On Here

It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing

[CHORUS:]
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
They can never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine

[Repeat chorus twice]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

[Repeat chorus]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

Don't give up fighting
'til nothing stands in your way.
Don't give up talking
'til there's nothing left to say.
But no matter what you do,
don't ever compromise
what you believe in.

Don't give up fighting
'til nothing stands in your way.
Don't give up talking
'til there's nothing left to say.
But no matter what you do,
don't ever compromise
what you believe in.

Don't give up fighting
'til nothing stands in your way.
Don't give up talking
'til there's nothing left to say.
But no matter what you do,
don't ever compromise
what you believe in.

Start with something simple...

Start with something simple...

The color white,
the bright light
stings your eyes
the scorpion's sting
is sharp the sharp knife
in my hands slits the skin
and blood drips down
in the IV at the hospital
the fear ever increasing
seems like the dark ghosts
live in the dark
to be a ghost you have to die.
i feel like dying.

this is how my mind wanders.
a simple thing like
the color white
that not many asociate
with anything evil or sad
leads my mind to death.
i am psycotic.
just like everyone else
in this world.
do this for yourself.
start with a simple
pleasant thing and
see where it will
lead your mind.

Start with something simple...

Start with something simple...

The color white,
the bright light
stings your eyes
the scorpion's sting
is sharp the sharp knife
in my hands slits the skin
and blood drips down
in the IV at the hospital
the fear ever increasing
seems like the dark ghosts
live in the dark
to be a ghost you have to die.
i feel like dying.

this is how my mind wanders.
a simple thing like
the color white
that not many asociate
with anything evil or sad
leads my mind to death.
i am psycotic.
just like everyone else
in this world.
do this for yourself.
start with a simple
pleasant thing and
see where it will
lead your mind.

Start with something simple...

Start with something simple...

The color white,
the bright light
stings your eyes
the scorpion's sting
is sharp the sharp knife
in my hands slits the skin
and blood drips down
in the IV at the hospital
the fear ever increasing
seems like the dark ghosts
live in the dark
to be a ghost you have to die.
i feel like dying.

this is how my mind wanders.
a simple thing like
the color white
that not many asociate
with anything evil or sad
leads my mind to death.
i am psycotic.
just like everyone else
in this world.
do this for yourself.
start with a simple
pleasant thing and
see where it will
lead your mind.

4 Quotes From Tristan And Isolde

"Know that I love you.
Wherever you go,
whatever you see.
I'll be there with you. "

"Life is greater than death.
And love is greater than either."

"Our love is as strong as death.
Why be capable of feelings
if we're not to have them?
Why long for things if
they're not meant to be ours?"

"we both know this can't be,
we've known it from the start.
That doesn't mean it isn't true,
it is, it just cannot be.
I want to know that you're alive
somewhere thinking of me
from time to time.
I want to know that there's more
to this life and I can't know
that if they kill you. Please! Go."

4 Quotes From Tristan And Isolde

"Know that I love you.
Wherever you go,
whatever you see.
I'll be there with you. "

"Life is greater than death.
And love is greater than either."

"Our love is as strong as death.
Why be capable of feelings
if we're not to have them?
Why long for things if
they're not meant to be ours?"

"we both know this can't be,
we've known it from the start.
That doesn't mean it isn't true,
it is, it just cannot be.
I want to know that you're alive
somewhere thinking of me
from time to time.
I want to know that there's more
to this life and I can't know
that if they kill you. Please! Go."

4 Quotes From Tristan And Isolde

"Know that I love you.
Wherever you go,
whatever you see.
I'll be there with you. "

"Life is greater than death.
And love is greater than either."

"Our love is as strong as death.
Why be capable of feelings
if we're not to have them?
Why long for things if
they're not meant to be ours?"

"we both know this can't be,
we've known it from the start.
That doesn't mean it isn't true,
it is, it just cannot be.
I want to know that you're alive
somewhere thinking of me
from time to time.
I want to know that there's more
to this life and I can't know
that if they kill you. Please! Go."

Talk

Oh brother I can't,
I can't get through
I've been trying hard
to reach you,
cause I don't know
what to do
Oh brother I can't
believe it's true
I'm so scared about
the future and
I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you
You can take a picture
of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder
up to the sun
Or write a song
nobody has sung
Or do something
that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle,
you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking
in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture
of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder
up to the sun
Or a write a song
nobody has sung
Or do something
that's never been done
Do something that's
never been done

So you don't know
were you're going,
and you wanna talk
And you feel like
you're going
where you've been before
You tell anyone
who'll listen
but you feel ignored
Nothing's really
making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk

Talk

Oh brother I can't,
I can't get through
I've been trying hard
to reach you,
cause I don't know
what to do
Oh brother I can't
believe it's true
I'm so scared about
the future and
I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you
You can take a picture
of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder
up to the sun
Or write a song
nobody has sung
Or do something
that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle,
you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking
in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture
of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder
up to the sun
Or a write a song
nobody has sung
Or do something
that's never been done
Do something that's
never been done

So you don't know
were you're going,
and you wanna talk
And you feel like
you're going
where you've been before
You tell anyone
who'll listen
but you feel ignored
Nothing's really
making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk

Talk

Oh brother I can't,
I can't get through
I've been trying hard
to reach you,
cause I don't know
what to do
Oh brother I can't
believe it's true
I'm so scared about
the future and
I wanna talk to you
Oh I wanna talk to you
You can take a picture
of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder
up to the sun
Or write a song
nobody has sung
Or do something
that's never been done

Are you lost or incomplete?
Do you feel like a puzzle,
you can't find your missing piece?
Tell me how do you feel?
Well I feel like they're talking
in a language I don't speak
And they're talking it to me

So you take a picture
of something you see
In the future where will I be?
You can climb a ladder
up to the sun
Or a write a song
nobody has sung
Or do something
that's never been done
Do something that's
never been done

So you don't know
were you're going,
and you wanna talk
And you feel like
you're going
where you've been before
You tell anyone
who'll listen
but you feel ignored
Nothing's really
making any sense at all
Let's talk, let's ta-a-alk

So I posted a few lyrics on here, and I am about to head to bed, I got another long day of work ahead of me, and then another long day, and then I am off for 2... but I am dreading being off cause when I am off is when I spend time with Helen, but now she has moved, and I won't be abel to... I am sure I will spend the day watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" cause she left the movie for me, and we both love the movie, and I will feel somewhat close to her while watching it, even though we are so far apart. I can't wait till the end of march, when we'll be together again, even if only for a short amount of time, every second will be worth it. Well mom just got home so I am going to end this and head to bed, she wants on here, I'll write more tomorrow

So I posted a few lyrics on here, and I am about to head to bed, I got another long day of work ahead of me, and then another long day, and then I am off for 2... but I am dreading being off cause when I am off is when I spend time with Helen, but now she has moved, and I won't be abel to... I am sure I will spend the day watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" cause she left the movie for me, and we both love the movie, and I will feel somewhat close to her while watching it, even though we are so far apart. I can't wait till the end of march, when we'll be together again, even if only for a short amount of time, every second will be worth it. Well mom just got home so I am going to end this and head to bed, she wants on here, I'll write more tomorrow

So I posted a few lyrics on here, and I am about to head to bed, I got another long day of work ahead of me, and then another long day, and then I am off for 2... but I am dreading being off cause when I am off is when I spend time with Helen, but now she has moved, and I won't be abel to... I am sure I will spend the day watching "The Nightmare Before Christmas" cause she left the movie for me, and we both love the movie, and I will feel somewhat close to her while watching it, even though we are so far apart. I can't wait till the end of march, when we'll be together again, even if only for a short amount of time, every second will be worth it. Well mom just got home so I am going to end this and head to bed, she wants on here, I'll write more tomorrow

When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out
it hurts so much
to think of this
so from my thoughts
I will exclude
this very thing that
I hate more than everything
is the way I'm powerless
to dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
so many things
that could've been
so much more
and I just pray
my problems go away
if they're ignored
but that's not
the way it works

when I go down
I go down hard
and I take everything I've learned
and teach myself
some disregard
when I go down
it hurts to hit the bottom
and of the things
that got me there
I think, if only
I had fought them

If and when
I can clear myself
of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
into a place where
peace can search me out
and find that I'm
so ready to be found

I've thrown away
the hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
so many things
that could have been
so much more
I've thrown away
the secret to find an end to this
and I just pray
my problems go away
if they're ignored
but that's not
the way it works

Any control I thought I had
just slips right through my hands
while my ever-present conscience
shakes its head and reprimands me
reprimands me then and there I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
yet you love me and that consumes me
and I'll stand up again and do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
you touch my heavy heart,
and when you do you make it light
as I exhale I hear your voice
and I answer you,
though I heardly make a noise
and from my lips the words I choose to say
seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
because I love you oh God, I love you
and life is now worth living
if only because of you
and when they say I'm dead and gone
it won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I life my eyes up to you
I won't look very far
cause you'll be there
with open arms
to lift me up again

When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out
it hurts so much
to think of this
so from my thoughts
I will exclude
this very thing that
I hate more than everything
is the way I'm powerless
to dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
so many things
that could've been
so much more
and I just pray
my problems go away
if they're ignored
but that's not
the way it works

when I go down
I go down hard
and I take everything I've learned
and teach myself
some disregard
when I go down
it hurts to hit the bottom
and of the things
that got me there
I think, if only
I had fought them

If and when
I can clear myself
of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
into a place where
peace can search me out
and find that I'm
so ready to be found

I've thrown away
the hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
so many things
that could have been
so much more
I've thrown away
the secret to find an end to this
and I just pray
my problems go away
if they're ignored
but that's not
the way it works

Any control I thought I had
just slips right through my hands
while my ever-present conscience
shakes its head and reprimands me
reprimands me then and there I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
yet you love me and that consumes me
and I'll stand up again and do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
you touch my heavy heart,
and when you do you make it light
as I exhale I hear your voice
and I answer you,
though I heardly make a noise
and from my lips the words I choose to say
seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
because I love you oh God, I love you
and life is now worth living
if only because of you
and when they say I'm dead and gone
it won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I life my eyes up to you
I won't look very far
cause you'll be there
with open arms
to lift me up again

When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out
it hurts so much
to think of this
so from my thoughts
I will exclude
this very thing that
I hate more than everything
is the way I'm powerless
to dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
so many things
that could've been
so much more
and I just pray
my problems go away
if they're ignored
but that's not
the way it works

when I go down
I go down hard
and I take everything I've learned
and teach myself
some disregard
when I go down
it hurts to hit the bottom
and of the things
that got me there
I think, if only
I had fought them

If and when
I can clear myself
of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
into a place where
peace can search me out
and find that I'm
so ready to be found

I've thrown away
the hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
so many things
that could have been
so much more
I've thrown away
the secret to find an end to this
and I just pray
my problems go away
if they're ignored
but that's not
the way it works

Any control I thought I had
just slips right through my hands
while my ever-present conscience
shakes its head and reprimands me
reprimands me then and there I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
yet you love me and that consumes me
and I'll stand up again and do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
you touch my heavy heart,
and when you do you make it light
as I exhale I hear your voice
and I answer you,
though I heardly make a noise
and from my lips the words I choose to say
seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
because I love you oh God, I love you
and life is now worth living
if only because of you
and when they say I'm dead and gone
it won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I life my eyes up to you
I won't look very far
cause you'll be there
with open arms
to lift me up again

more than useless

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else
doing something that matters
And I'll admit here,
while I sit here
My mind wastes away
and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose?
It feels worthless
So unwanted like
I've lost all my value
I can't find it,
not in the least bit
and I'm just scared,
so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think
that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why,
why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't,
do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days
that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me
to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think
that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why,
why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol
of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself
the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything
of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign
of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right,
to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything
that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

more than useless

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else
doing something that matters
And I'll admit here,
while I sit here
My mind wastes away
and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose?
It feels worthless
So unwanted like
I've lost all my value
I can't find it,
not in the least bit
and I'm just scared,
so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think
that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why,
why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't,
do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days
that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me
to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think
that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why,
why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol
of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself
the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything
of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign
of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right,
to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything
that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

more than useless

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else
doing something that matters
And I'll admit here,
while I sit here
My mind wastes away
and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose?
It feels worthless
So unwanted like
I've lost all my value
I can't find it,
not in the least bit
and I'm just scared,
so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think
that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why,
why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't,
do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days
that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me
to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think
that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why,
why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol
of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself
the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything
of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign
of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right,
to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything
that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

Maintain Consciousness

Our concentration
it contains a deadly flaw
our conversations
change from words
to blah, blah blah
we took prescription drugs
but look how much good that did
well I think I had a point,
but I just got distracted

Lately it just seems to me
like we've got the letters A.D.D.
branded into our mentality
we simply can't focus on anything

because its 16, 17, 18 routine
and here at 21 it's the same old me
and that one thing of the moment
that we all happen to like
will only very temporarily
kinda break the cycle
of the double edged sword
of being lazy and being bored
we just want more and more and more
till it's all we can afford

to keep our eyes open
for just one more day
to keep on hoping
that we'll stumble on a way
to keep our minds open
for just one more day
cause its completely up to us
to maintain consciousness

well no one can possibly listen to this
more than 4 reps is just monotonous
we're losing interest, losing interest, losing interest

Maintain Consciousness

Our concentration
it contains a deadly flaw
our conversations
change from words
to blah, blah blah
we took prescription drugs
but look how much good that did
well I think I had a point,
but I just got distracted

Lately it just seems to me
like we've got the letters A.D.D.
branded into our mentality
we simply can't focus on anything

because its 16, 17, 18 routine
and here at 21 it's the same old me
and that one thing of the moment
that we all happen to like
will only very temporarily
kinda break the cycle
of the double edged sword
of being lazy and being bored
we just want more and more and more
till it's all we can afford

to keep our eyes open
for just one more day
to keep on hoping
that we'll stumble on a way
to keep our minds open
for just one more day
cause its completely up to us
to maintain consciousness

well no one can possibly listen to this
more than 4 reps is just monotonous
we're losing interest, losing interest, losing interest

Maintain Consciousness

Our concentration
it contains a deadly flaw
our conversations
change from words
to blah, blah blah
we took prescription drugs
but look how much good that did
well I think I had a point,
but I just got distracted

Lately it just seems to me
like we've got the letters A.D.D.
branded into our mentality
we simply can't focus on anything

because its 16, 17, 18 routine
and here at 21 it's the same old me
and that one thing of the moment
that we all happen to like
will only very temporarily
kinda break the cycle
of the double edged sword
of being lazy and being bored
we just want more and more and more
till it's all we can afford

to keep our eyes open
for just one more day
to keep on hoping
that we'll stumble on a way
to keep our minds open
for just one more day
cause its completely up to us
to maintain consciousness

well no one can possibly listen to this
more than 4 reps is just monotonous
we're losing interest, losing interest, losing interest

Who I am hates who I've been

I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I�ll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can�t let that happen again
�cause then you�ll see my heart
in the saddest state it�s ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won�t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I�ve been
�cause who I�ve been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I�m ready to try and never become that way again
�cause who I am hates who I�ve been.
Who I am hates who I�ve been.

Who I am hates who I've been

I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I�ll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can�t let that happen again
�cause then you�ll see my heart
in the saddest state it�s ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won�t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I�ve been
�cause who I�ve been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I�m ready to try and never become that way again
�cause who I am hates who I�ve been.
Who I am hates who I�ve been.

Who I am hates who I've been

I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I�ll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can�t let that happen again
�cause then you�ll see my heart
in the saddest state it�s ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won�t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I�ve been
�cause who I�ve been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I�m ready to try and never become that way again
�cause who I am hates who I�ve been.
Who I am hates who I�ve been.

Over My Head

I never knew
I never knew that
everything was falling through
That everyone I knew
was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when
all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to
nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way
than stay and see
The smoke and who's still
standing when it clears and

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a
stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree
and then never change
Soften a bit until
we all just get along
But that's disregard
You find another
friend and you discard
As you lose the argument
in a cable car
Hanging above as the
canyon comes between and

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly
I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you
wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down
till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind

Everone knows I'm in
Over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Over My Head

I never knew
I never knew that
everything was falling through
That everyone I knew
was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when
all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to
nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way
than stay and see
The smoke and who's still
standing when it clears and

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a
stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree
and then never change
Soften a bit until
we all just get along
But that's disregard
You find another
friend and you discard
As you lose the argument
in a cable car
Hanging above as the
canyon comes between and

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly
I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you
wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down
till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind

Everone knows I'm in
Over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Over My Head

I never knew
I never knew that
everything was falling through
That everyone I knew
was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when
all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to
nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way
than stay and see
The smoke and who's still
standing when it clears and

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a
stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree
and then never change
Soften a bit until
we all just get along
But that's disregard
You find another
friend and you discard
As you lose the argument
in a cable car
Hanging above as the
canyon comes between and

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly
I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you
wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down
till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind

Everone knows I'm in
Over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Can't Sleep

Tongiht i can't sleep. I had sneaked home at 2:30am, after a very long game of scrabble I tumble into bed at 3:40, not feeling the least bit sleepy though i have been up since 11:30. My predominantly nocturnal lifestyle is somehow compromising with my waking up in the morning, (i'm going to force myself to go to sleep around 5) and somehow manage to wake up at 10:30 (i hope). I toss and turn in my bed, tangling myself up in my bedsheets and messing them up, pulling them from the corners of the bed where a few hours earlier i had just carefully tucked them in. Moonlight filtered in through windows whose curtains had been pulled apart, illuminating the room with a pale ghostly light. The moonlight casts a faint glow on objects in my room, and their silhouettes stand out sharply against the darkness. Glowing red numbers spell out the time, contrasting with the otherwise black and white shades of my room. Images of people, images of time, images of spaces, images of events, memories and more memories flood my mind, breaking the levees i have built. Counting sheep had always been surprisingly effective against sleepless nights but tonight there was no sheep present. Attempts to coax the sheep out were in vain, and i lie there in the tangled mess, stuck in a maze of thoughts from which there is no escape. Thoughts, thoughts. They occupy my mind, spreading to every nook and cranny, filling every available space. Thoughts of the past that binds us, thoughts of the present that separates us, thoughts of the future that threathens to tear us asunder. Who? Who? It is neither one nor the other, but yet again it is both the one and the other. The confusion adds to the hazy mix, piling and piling on top of each other, voices adding on voices layering on voices on more voices, rising and rising in a tumultous crescendo... Its 4:30, and i finally give up. I step out of the bed, disoriented. The moonlight still bathes the room in a pale glow, though the lightening of the pre-dawn sky changes the shade slightly. I make my way down, careful not to rouse my mom. Footsteps and the creaking of the floorboards mimic the rhythmic ticking of the clock in my living room. The hum of the computer blends with the hum of the refrigerator, and i can't tell them apart. Soon morning will come, and my vigil will end and the demons of the night will flee with the dawn, and i'll step into the shower, making my own preparations for the day ahead of me, and all thoughts of this night will be forgotten.

Can't Sleep

Tongiht i can't sleep. I had sneaked home at 2:30am, after a very long game of scrabble I tumble into bed at 3:40, not feeling the least bit sleepy though i have been up since 11:30. My predominantly nocturnal lifestyle is somehow compromising with my waking up in the morning, (i'm going to force myself to go to sleep around 5) and somehow manage to wake up at 10:30 (i hope). I toss and turn in my bed, tangling myself up in my bedsheets and messing them up, pulling them from the corners of the bed where a few hours earlier i had just carefully tucked them in. Moonlight filtered in through windows whose curtains had been pulled apart, illuminating the room with a pale ghostly light. The moonlight casts a faint glow on objects in my room, and their silhouettes stand out sharply against the darkness. Glowing red numbers spell out the time, contrasting with the otherwise black and white shades of my room. Images of people, images of time, images of spaces, images of events, memories and more memories flood my mind, breaking the levees i have built. Counting sheep had always been surprisingly effective against sleepless nights but tonight there was no sheep present. Attempts to coax the sheep out were in vain, and i lie there in the tangled mess, stuck in a maze of thoughts from which there is no escape. Thoughts, thoughts. They occupy my mind, spreading to every nook and cranny, filling every available space. Thoughts of the past that binds us, thoughts of the present that separates us, thoughts of the future that threathens to tear us asunder. Who? Who? It is neither one nor the other, but yet again it is both the one and the other. The confusion adds to the hazy mix, piling and piling on top of each other, voices adding on voices layering on voices on more voices, rising and rising in a tumultous crescendo... Its 4:30, and i finally give up. I step out of the bed, disoriented. The moonlight still bathes the room in a pale glow, though the lightening of the pre-dawn sky changes the shade slightly. I make my way down, careful not to rouse my mom. Footsteps and the creaking of the floorboards mimic the rhythmic ticking of the clock in my living room. The hum of the computer blends with the hum of the refrigerator, and i can't tell them apart. Soon morning will come, and my vigil will end and the demons of the night will flee with the dawn, and i'll step into the shower, making my own preparations for the day ahead of me, and all thoughts of this night will be forgotten.

Can't Sleep

Tongiht i can't sleep. I had sneaked home at 2:30am, after a very long game of scrabble I tumble into bed at 3:40, not feeling the least bit sleepy though i have been up since 11:30. My predominantly nocturnal lifestyle is somehow compromising with my waking up in the morning, (i'm going to force myself to go to sleep around 5) and somehow manage to wake up at 10:30 (i hope). I toss and turn in my bed, tangling myself up in my bedsheets and messing them up, pulling them from the corners of the bed where a few hours earlier i had just carefully tucked them in. Moonlight filtered in through windows whose curtains had been pulled apart, illuminating the room with a pale ghostly light. The moonlight casts a faint glow on objects in my room, and their silhouettes stand out sharply against the darkness. Glowing red numbers spell out the time, contrasting with the otherwise black and white shades of my room. Images of people, images of time, images of spaces, images of events, memories and more memories flood my mind, breaking the levees i have built. Counting sheep had always been surprisingly effective against sleepless nights but tonight there was no sheep present. Attempts to coax the sheep out were in vain, and i lie there in the tangled mess, stuck in a maze of thoughts from which there is no escape. Thoughts, thoughts. They occupy my mind, spreading to every nook and cranny, filling every available space. Thoughts of the past that binds us, thoughts of the present that separates us, thoughts of the future that threathens to tear us asunder. Who? Who? It is neither one nor the other, but yet again it is both the one and the other. The confusion adds to the hazy mix, piling and piling on top of each other, voices adding on voices layering on voices on more voices, rising and rising in a tumultous crescendo... Its 4:30, and i finally give up. I step out of the bed, disoriented. The moonlight still bathes the room in a pale glow, though the lightening of the pre-dawn sky changes the shade slightly. I make my way down, careful not to rouse my mom. Footsteps and the creaking of the floorboards mimic the rhythmic ticking of the clock in my living room. The hum of the computer blends with the hum of the refrigerator, and i can't tell them apart. Soon morning will come, and my vigil will end and the demons of the night will flee with the dawn, and i'll step into the shower, making my own preparations for the day ahead of me, and all thoughts of this night will be forgotten.

A story tells that two friends were walking through the
desert. During some point in the journey, they had an
argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt,
but without saying anything, he wrote in the sand:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".

They kept walking until they found an oasis where
they decided to take a bath. The one who had been
slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but his
friend saved him. After he recovered from the
near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE".

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked
him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you
write on a stone, why?"

He replied, "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where the winds of forgiveness can erase it away, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, where no wind can ever erase it."

A story tells that two friends were walking through the
desert. During some point in the journey, they had an
argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt,
but without saying anything, he wrote in the sand:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".

They kept walking until they found an oasis where
they decided to take a bath. The one who had been
slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but his
friend saved him. After he recovered from the
near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE".

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked
him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you
write on a stone, why?"

He replied, "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where the winds of forgiveness can erase it away, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, where no wind can ever erase it."

A story tells that two friends were walking through the
desert. During some point in the journey, they had an
argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt,
but without saying anything, he wrote in the sand:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE".

They kept walking until they found an oasis where
they decided to take a bath. The one who had been
slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but his
friend saved him. After he recovered from the
near drowning, he wrote on a stone:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE".

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked
him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now you
write on a stone, why?"

He replied, "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where the winds of forgiveness can erase it away, but when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone, where no wind can ever erase it."

In Memory Of JoAnn Wheat

"If tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see,
if the sun should rise
and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came
and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye
and kiss you and
maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same way,
there’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven,
and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand,
and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart. "

So Tomorrow Is The Funeral, And Today I Am Sad Once More
But That Is How I Have Been The Past Few Days Now...
Even Though I Didn't Know Her For Very Long
In The Time I Did She Touched My Heart,
And I Will Be Forever Thankful For The Times
I Got To Share With Her, She Was A Great Woman
And I Miss Her So Much...

I'll Write More Later

In Memory Of JoAnn Wheat

"If tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see,
if the sun should rise
and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came
and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye
and kiss you and
maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same way,
there’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven,
and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand,
and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart. "

So Tomorrow Is The Funeral, And Today I Am Sad Once More
But That Is How I Have Been The Past Few Days Now...
Even Though I Didn't Know Her For Very Long
In The Time I Did She Touched My Heart,
And I Will Be Forever Thankful For The Times
I Got To Share With Her, She Was A Great Woman
And I Miss Her So Much...

I'll Write More Later

In Memory Of JoAnn Wheat

"If tomorrow starts without me,
and I'm not there to see,
if the sun should rise
and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things,
we didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came
and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
it seemed almost impossible,
that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I thought of all that we shared,
and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye
and kiss you and
maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized,
that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
my heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity,
and all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
but here life starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
but today will always last,
and since each day's the same way,
there’s no longing for the past.
You have been so faithful,
so trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
you knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven,
and now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand,
and share my life with me?
So when tomorrow starts without me,
don't think we're far apart,
for every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart. "

So Tomorrow Is The Funeral, And Today I Am Sad Once More
But That Is How I Have Been The Past Few Days Now...
Even Though I Didn't Know Her For Very Long
In The Time I Did She Touched My Heart,
And I Will Be Forever Thankful For The Times
I Got To Share With Her, She Was A Great Woman
And I Miss Her So Much...

I'll Write More Later

"Let me be the one
you call if you jump,
I will break your fall,
lift you up and fly away
with you into the night.
If you need to fall apart,
I can mend a broken heart.
If you need to crash,
then crash and burn,
you're not alone"

Savage Garden - Crash and Burn

"Let me be the one
you call if you jump,
I will break your fall,
lift you up and fly away
with you into the night.
If you need to fall apart,
I can mend a broken heart.
If you need to crash,
then crash and burn,
you're not alone"

Savage Garden - Crash and Burn

"Let me be the one
you call if you jump,
I will break your fall,
lift you up and fly away
with you into the night.
If you need to fall apart,
I can mend a broken heart.
If you need to crash,
then crash and burn,
you're not alone"

Savage Garden - Crash and Burn

What If

I was lying in my bed and thinking Do I really have to do this shit? Do I really have to live this life? Do I really have to let you leave? And when you do leave I know it’s not forever And I know it won’t last as long as we pretend. But when you do move will I change? And will you change? And will we change together or apart? Will we learn what we knew to begin with things would work? That you'll come back, and we'll be just like we are now, except when you come back, I'll have a place for us and it'll be like you never left... or will things not work and one of us will meet someone new, or you'll decide to stay there, and not come back... But I know things will work Things WILL work They have to Because if they don’t.... Well I didn’t make a plan for that What if things DON’T work? What if it turns out you were wrong and I was wronger? What if it turns out those pessimistic assholes reign supr7eme again? Will I break down and cry? Or maybe I’ll just wave it off, like it’s happened a million times before It has, after all... It never works If it had ever worked, then I wouldn’t be laying here right now having these thoughts And I certainly wouldn’t be having these thoughts about you So what if things don’t work? I can handle it, right? Or will I run to the kitchen to find nearest, sharpest, longest, dirtiest, most hateful knife that I can find And jab it through my heart, my neck, my wrists, my legs, my soul? Of course not, I’m not the overdramatic, superficial, good life/bad life drama person That’s next door, you imbecile I’ll cry I’ll cry alone, in my new house in my bed, in my closet, where I can hide because those are places where only you would be And you won’t be there then Cos things will have not worked out And I’ll curse everything that can be cursed And I won’t forget to curse you Because you loved me, and that’s a worse crime than hating me And I’ll tell you I love you and I need you and I’ll do anything to get you back But I won’t I’ll just cry and curse and bitch and whine that it’s not fair Well it’s not fair, is it? Of course not Were it fair I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair I never would have fallen in love with you in the first place And the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair you and I would not have been born to begin with And I never would have fallen in love with you in the first place And the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now But we were and I did and it does and I am and I didn’t and I’m not So screw me, shoot me, sue me, fuck me Who cares? That’s life, and it’s not fair, but it’s all we have So what if things don’t work out? They probably will and I’ll probably figure out I am just thinking the worst and I won't have to cry and curse and whine I’ll get over it I'm sure, I'm just worried about us nowadays, knowing that you are moving in the very near future And wondering what if things don’t work out? They’re working fine now and right now Is enough for me So I’ve no need to cry or curse or whine So I won’t I’ll just sleep, if I can sleep And if I can’t I’ll think about what will happen if it Doesn’t work out

What If

I was lying in my bed and thinking Do I really have to do this shit? Do I really have to live this life? Do I really have to let you leave? And when you do leave I know it’s not forever And I know it won’t last as long as we pretend. But when you do move will I change? And will you change? And will we change together or apart? Will we learn what we knew to begin with things would work? That you'll come back, and we'll be just like we are now, except when you come back, I'll have a place for us and it'll be like you never left... or will things not work and one of us will meet someone new, or you'll decide to stay there, and not come back... But I know things will work Things WILL work They have to Because if they don’t.... Well I didn’t make a plan for that What if things DON’T work? What if it turns out you were wrong and I was wronger? What if it turns out those pessimistic assholes reign supr7eme again? Will I break down and cry? Or maybe I’ll just wave it off, like it’s happened a million times before It has, after all... It never works If it had ever worked, then I wouldn’t be laying here right now having these thoughts And I certainly wouldn’t be having these thoughts about you So what if things don’t work? I can handle it, right? Or will I run to the kitchen to find nearest, sharpest, longest, dirtiest, most hateful knife that I can find And jab it through my heart, my neck, my wrists, my legs, my soul? Of course not, I’m not the overdramatic, superficial, good life/bad life drama person That’s next door, you imbecile I’ll cry I’ll cry alone, in my new house in my bed, in my closet, where I can hide because those are places where only you would be And you won’t be there then Cos things will have not worked out And I’ll curse everything that can be cursed And I won’t forget to curse you Because you loved me, and that’s a worse crime than hating me And I’ll tell you I love you and I need you and I’ll do anything to get you back But I won’t I’ll just cry and curse and bitch and whine that it’s not fair Well it’s not fair, is it? Of course not Were it fair I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair I never would have fallen in love with you in the first place And the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair you and I would not have been born to begin with And I never would have fallen in love with you in the first place And the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now But we were and I did and it does and I am and I didn’t and I’m not So screw me, shoot me, sue me, fuck me Who cares? That’s life, and it’s not fair, but it’s all we have So what if things don’t work out? They probably will and I’ll probably figure out I am just thinking the worst and I won't have to cry and curse and whine I’ll get over it I'm sure, I'm just worried about us nowadays, knowing that you are moving in the very near future And wondering what if things don’t work out? They’re working fine now and right now Is enough for me So I’ve no need to cry or curse or whine So I won’t I’ll just sleep, if I can sleep And if I can’t I’ll think about what will happen if it Doesn’t work out

What If

I was lying in my bed and thinking Do I really have to do this shit? Do I really have to live this life? Do I really have to let you leave? And when you do leave I know it’s not forever And I know it won’t last as long as we pretend. But when you do move will I change? And will you change? And will we change together or apart? Will we learn what we knew to begin with things would work? That you'll come back, and we'll be just like we are now, except when you come back, I'll have a place for us and it'll be like you never left... or will things not work and one of us will meet someone new, or you'll decide to stay there, and not come back... But I know things will work Things WILL work They have to Because if they don’t.... Well I didn’t make a plan for that What if things DON’T work? What if it turns out you were wrong and I was wronger? What if it turns out those pessimistic assholes reign supr7eme again? Will I break down and cry? Or maybe I’ll just wave it off, like it’s happened a million times before It has, after all... It never works If it had ever worked, then I wouldn’t be laying here right now having these thoughts And I certainly wouldn’t be having these thoughts about you So what if things don’t work? I can handle it, right? Or will I run to the kitchen to find nearest, sharpest, longest, dirtiest, most hateful knife that I can find And jab it through my heart, my neck, my wrists, my legs, my soul? Of course not, I’m not the overdramatic, superficial, good life/bad life drama person That’s next door, you imbecile I’ll cry I’ll cry alone, in my new house in my bed, in my closet, where I can hide because those are places where only you would be And you won’t be there then Cos things will have not worked out And I’ll curse everything that can be cursed And I won’t forget to curse you Because you loved me, and that’s a worse crime than hating me And I’ll tell you I love you and I need you and I’ll do anything to get you back But I won’t I’ll just cry and curse and bitch and whine that it’s not fair Well it’s not fair, is it? Of course not Were it fair I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair I never would have fallen in love with you in the first place And the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now Were it fair you and I would not have been born to begin with And I never would have fallen in love with you in the first place And the possibility of things not working out would not exist And I wouldn’t be thinking these thoughts I would have fallen asleep hours ago And would still be there now But we were and I did and it does and I am and I didn’t and I’m not So screw me, shoot me, sue me, fuck me Who cares? That’s life, and it’s not fair, but it’s all we have So what if things don’t work out? They probably will and I’ll probably figure out I am just thinking the worst and I won't have to cry and curse and whine I’ll get over it I'm sure, I'm just worried about us nowadays, knowing that you are moving in the very near future And wondering what if things don’t work out? They’re working fine now and right now Is enough for me So I’ve no need to cry or curse or whine So I won’t I’ll just sleep, if I can sleep And if I can’t I’ll think about what will happen if it Doesn’t work out

4 Jobs You Have Had In Your Life:

Customer Service Manager
Cashier
Service Desk/Layaway
Movie Theator Crew Member

4 Movies You Could Watch Over And Over:

Nat. Lampoon's Going The Distance
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
The Adventures Of Whinnie The Pooh
Nightmare Before Christmas

4 Places You Have Lived:

Sellersburg
Charlestown
New Albany
Thats It, :)

4 TV Shows You Love To Watch:

Boy Meets World
Meet The Barkers
WWE Raw
Family Guy

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation:

New York/Canada – Niagra Falls
North Carolina – Cherokee
Tennessee – Gatlinburg
South Carolina – Myrtle Beach


4 Websites You Visit Daily:

Meliss's Blog
Helen's Blog
Erica's Blog
Insight Broad Band (My Email)

4 Of Your Favorite Foods:

Chinese Food
Tator Tots
Bacon Cheeseburgers
Birthday Cake Ice Cream

4 Places You Would Rather Be Right Now:

With Helen
At Ceasers :)
Las Vegas
Outer Space :)

4 Bloggers You Are Tagging:

Helen
Melissa
Erica
heiri sakura

4 Jobs You Have Had In Your Life:

Customer Service Manager
Cashier
Service Desk/Layaway
Movie Theator Crew Member

4 Movies You Could Watch Over And Over:

Nat. Lampoon's Going The Distance
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
The Adventures Of Whinnie The Pooh
Nightmare Before Christmas

4 Places You Have Lived:

Sellersburg
Charlestown
New Albany
Thats It, :)

4 TV Shows You Love To Watch:

Boy Meets World
Meet The Barkers
WWE Raw
Family Guy

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation:

New York/Canada – Niagra Falls
North Carolina – Cherokee
Tennessee – Gatlinburg
South Carolina – Myrtle Beach


4 Websites You Visit Daily:

Meliss's Blog
Helen's Blog
Erica's Blog
Insight Broad Band (My Email)

4 Of Your Favorite Foods:

Chinese Food
Tator Tots
Bacon Cheeseburgers
Birthday Cake Ice Cream

4 Places You Would Rather Be Right Now:

With Helen
At Ceasers :)
Las Vegas
Outer Space :)

4 Bloggers You Are Tagging:

Helen
Melissa
Erica
heiri sakura

4 Jobs You Have Had In Your Life:

Customer Service Manager
Cashier
Service Desk/Layaway
Movie Theator Crew Member

4 Movies You Could Watch Over And Over:

Nat. Lampoon's Going The Distance
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
The Adventures Of Whinnie The Pooh
Nightmare Before Christmas

4 Places You Have Lived:

Sellersburg
Charlestown
New Albany
Thats It, :)

4 TV Shows You Love To Watch:

Boy Meets World
Meet The Barkers
WWE Raw
Family Guy

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation:

New York/Canada – Niagra Falls
North Carolina – Cherokee
Tennessee – Gatlinburg
South Carolina – Myrtle Beach


4 Websites You Visit Daily:

Meliss's Blog
Helen's Blog
Erica's Blog
Insight Broad Band (My Email)

4 Of Your Favorite Foods:

Chinese Food
Tator Tots
Bacon Cheeseburgers
Birthday Cake Ice Cream

4 Places You Would Rather Be Right Now:

With Helen
At Ceasers :)
Las Vegas
Outer Space :)

4 Bloggers You Are Tagging:

Helen
Melissa
Erica
heiri sakura

A Quiz A Friend Made

****who are you really? (with cool anime pics) in depth answers****
brought to you by Quizilla

A Quiz A Friend Made

****who are you really? (with cool anime pics) in depth answers****
brought to you by Quizilla

A Quiz A Friend Made

****who are you really? (with cool anime pics) in depth answers****
brought to you by Quizilla

Love is a slow kiss goodnight,
its anticipation.

Love is flirting outrageously
and still remembering that
the person at your side
is not obligated to do anything,
its respect.

Love is an imperfection
in your self not bothering you,
its acceptance.

Love is passing up an opportunity
because the time isn't right yet,
it's patience.

Love is a back massage
that starts above the hairline
and ends around the insoles,
its exploration.

Love doesn't not have to say,
"Let's make love," because
you know what the other person wants,
it understands.

Love is being given an honest chance
to say no when you thought
you were committed,
it's consideration.

Love is both of you
remembering protection,
its responsibility.

Love is saying the perfect phrase
to make a solemn embrace
dissolve into giggles,
its humour.

Love is being told
"stop and I'll kill you."
It's desire.

Love is reviewing the damage
to your living room
and realizing personal effects
are strewn in a clockwise pattern
from the front door the to bedroom,
it's abandonment.

Love is seeing what your love
really looks like for the first time,
its truth.

Love is knowing what
time it is and not caring,
its joy.

Love is the arms around you
tightening their embrace,
its ecstasy.

Love is seeing a new side
of a person you thought you knew,
its renewal.

Love is telling a person
if you have to leave,
you will let them sleep,
and being told they
would rather be woken,
its tenderness.

Love is waking up to find
the subject of the dream
you were having
asleep on your shoulder,
it's where fantasy meets reality.

Love is being there to wake
your lover slowly,
its sensuousness.

Love belatedly knows why
you bothered to buy a
queen-sized bed three years ago,
its practicality.

Love is two people
only taking up a third
of a queen-sized bed,
its closeness.

Love knows you gave
the extra set of keys
to your apartment
to the right person,
its trust.

Love is saying good-bye
and knowing you will be back
by mutual consent,
its faith.

Love is opening your medicine cabinet
finding your tube of toothpaste
turned into a pretzel,
its adaptation.

Love is sitting at the window,
looking out and remembering
who you were with the night before,
its reflection.

Love is hearing the weather forecast
for a winter storm and wishing
you could spend it in bed with your lover,
its loneliness.

Love is stories that will never be told,
it's personal.

What is Love to you?

Love is a slow kiss goodnight,
its anticipation.

Love is flirting outrageously
and still remembering that
the person at your side
is not obligated to do anything,
its respect.

Love is an imperfection
in your self not bothering you,
its acceptance.

Love is passing up an opportunity
because the time isn't right yet,
it's patience.

Love is a back massage
that starts above the hairline
and ends around the insoles,
its exploration.

Love doesn't not have to say,
"Let's make love," because
you know what the other person wants,
it understands.

Love is being given an honest chance
to say no when you thought
you were committed,
it's consideration.

Love is both of you
remembering protection,
its responsibility.

Love is saying the perfect phrase
to make a solemn embrace
dissolve into giggles,
its humour.

Love is being told
"stop and I'll kill you."
It's desire.

Love is reviewing the damage
to your living room
and realizing personal effects
are strewn in a clockwise pattern
from the front door the to bedroom,
it's abandonment.

Love is seeing what your love
really looks like for the first time,
its truth.

Love is knowing what
time it is and not caring,
its joy.

Love is the arms around you
tightening their embrace,
its ecstasy.

Love is seeing a new side
of a person you thought you knew,
its renewal.

Love is telling a person
if you have to leave,
you will let them sleep,
and being told they
would rather be woken,
its tenderness.

Love is waking up to find
the subject of the dream
you were having
asleep on your shoulder,
it's where fantasy meets reality.

Love is being there to wake
your lover slowly,
its sensuousness.

Love belatedly knows why
you bothered to buy a
queen-sized bed three years ago,
its practicality.

Love is two people
only taking up a third
of a queen-sized bed,
its closeness.

Love knows you gave
the extra set of keys
to your apartment
to the right person,
its trust.

Love is saying good-bye
and knowing you will be back
by mutual consent,
its faith.

Love is opening your medicine cabinet
finding your tube of toothpaste
turned into a pretzel,
its adaptation.

Love is sitting at the window,
looking out and remembering
who you were with the night before,
its reflection.

Love is hearing the weather forecast
for a winter storm and wishing
you could spend it in bed with your lover,
its loneliness.

Love is stories that will never be told,
it's personal.

What is Love to you?

Love is a slow kiss goodnight,
its anticipation.

Love is flirting outrageously
and still remembering that
the person at your side
is not obligated to do anything,
its respect.

Love is an imperfection
in your self not bothering you,
its acceptance.

Love is passing up an opportunity
because the time isn't right yet,
it's patience.

Love is a back massage
that starts above the hairline
and ends around the insoles,
its exploration.

Love doesn't not have to say,
"Let's make love," because
you know what the other person wants,
it understands.

Love is being given an honest chance
to say no when you thought
you were committed,
it's consideration.

Love is both of you
remembering protection,
its responsibility.

Love is saying the perfect phrase
to make a solemn embrace
dissolve into giggles,
its humour.

Love is being told
"stop and I'll kill you."
It's desire.

Love is reviewing the damage
to your living room
and realizing personal effects
are strewn in a clockwise pattern
from the front door the to bedroom,
it's abandonment.

Love is seeing what your love
really looks like for the first time,
its truth.

Love is knowing what
time it is and not caring,
its joy.

Love is the arms around you
tightening their embrace,
its ecstasy.

Love is seeing a new side
of a person you thought you knew,
its renewal.

Love is telling a person
if you have to leave,
you will let them sleep,
and being told they
would rather be woken,
its tenderness.

Love is waking up to find
the subject of the dream
you were having
asleep on your shoulder,
it's where fantasy meets reality.

Love is being there to wake
your lover slowly,
its sensuousness.

Love belatedly knows why
you bothered to buy a
queen-sized bed three years ago,
its practicality.

Love is two people
only taking up a third
of a queen-sized bed,
its closeness.

Love knows you gave
the extra set of keys
to your apartment
to the right person,
its trust.

Love is saying good-bye
and knowing you will be back
by mutual consent,
its faith.

Love is opening your medicine cabinet
finding your tube of toothpaste
turned into a pretzel,
its adaptation.

Love is sitting at the window,
looking out and remembering
who you were with the night before,
its reflection.

Love is hearing the weather forecast
for a winter storm and wishing
you could spend it in bed with your lover,
its loneliness.

Love is stories that will never be told,
it's personal.

What is Love to you?

Tonight, I Dare To Dream

I got this from another blog, if you want to visit the other blog click on the title of this post, and it will take you to it. I hope you enjoy

Tonight, I dream anew.

I dream of a world where children are safe, a world where there are no laws for crimes against children, because such crimes do not exist. I dream of a world without hunger and with no bloating, empty bellies. I dream of a world without childhood sadness, poverty, ignorance, and death. I dare to dream tonight.

I dream of color-blindness, where white is alabaster and black is brown, and brown is brown, and pink is pink. I dream of a world where it does not matter from whence you come, but still, we are greatly interested in the tales you have to tell. I dream where bi-racial is an unknown concept; where there is but one race, and it is called – us. Tonight I dare to dream.

I dream of women, safe, nurtured, loved, nay, adored! I dream they are our center, our joy, our comfort. I dream that men understand their gifts, and adorn them with praise, and love, and blessings gifted from God. I dream the dream of men – strong, and proud, and gentle and good. Tonight, I dream of marriages of love and not convenience, of partnership and not domination, of faithfulness and not wantonness. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream of families, of giggles and little angels, of silly smiles and bestest dads. I dream of societies that are about something, and that something is more than nothing. I dream of something that is more than what is owned, but rather what is given. I dream we are all connected, a weave of us, and at that center is God and Love and Joy. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream my favorite dreams tonight. I dream of new beginnings and roads without roadblocks. I dream of a world without oppression, repression, depression. I dream of a world with scary campfire myths of serial killers, and genocide, and child murderers. I dream the dream that no one shivers in this night, for such tales could not be true. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream the dream that God has whispered. I dream that we know Him only. Tonight I dream we know his name, and all may come and worship by him. I dream a world without religions. Tonight there are no wars that portend to be holy. There are no jihads, no crusades, no decimation in the name of the Lord. Tonight, I dream that Love has already won its war. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream of a world of equity. Ah, how bold to dream of such! I dream a world without borders, for none are needed. A world where we are judged not by what we have done, but by what we can do. A world where there are no refugees, but all may take refuge in the kindness of another. A world where men are brothers, and women are sisters, and children are cherished. I dream of love, my children. And tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream a world where nations do not suffer the oppressing hand of AIDS. I dream where no man nor woman nor child would DREAM to allow there be a country where 2 in 5 adults have a fatal disease. I dream of a world where finding the measurement of a gnat’s eyelash on Mars is less important than people dying in Malaria-ridden sunsets. I dream a world where common sense is not uncommon, and medicine is a right and not a business. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream that we Rise Up, and Call His Name, and We Are Answered because We Deserve to be answered. Yes, tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream where you may notice the shade of my daughter’s eyes, or the color of her hair, or the tenor of her voice, but you will not count the melanin in her skin. I dream that men of color, such as I, can walk into a room and the attendees are not shocked because that man is the most talented, or the most educated or the most loving. I dare to dream this night.

I dream that You and I are One. I dream there is no Babylon to chant down, but we chant it down, chant it down, chant it down, anyway. Tonight’s my night to dream, and I dare to dream tonight.

Tonight, I dream that being a good, simple, person is valued and encouraged and rewarded. Tonight, I dream that my dream becomes your dream, and that together, we dare not dream another dream.

I have a dream that one day we will remember, we will sing the glad songs, and when that Chariot Swings Low, we will be singing of joy and not of pain.

God help me, tonight I dare to dream.

Tonight, I Dare To Dream

I got this from another blog, if you want to visit the other blog click on the title of this post, and it will take you to it. I hope you enjoy

Tonight, I dream anew.

I dream of a world where children are safe, a world where there are no laws for crimes against children, because such crimes do not exist. I dream of a world without hunger and with no bloating, empty bellies. I dream of a world without childhood sadness, poverty, ignorance, and death. I dare to dream tonight.

I dream of color-blindness, where white is alabaster and black is brown, and brown is brown, and pink is pink. I dream of a world where it does not matter from whence you come, but still, we are greatly interested in the tales you have to tell. I dream where bi-racial is an unknown concept; where there is but one race, and it is called – us. Tonight I dare to dream.

I dream of women, safe, nurtured, loved, nay, adored! I dream they are our center, our joy, our comfort. I dream that men understand their gifts, and adorn them with praise, and love, and blessings gifted from God. I dream the dream of men – strong, and proud, and gentle and good. Tonight, I dream of marriages of love and not convenience, of partnership and not domination, of faithfulness and not wantonness. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream of families, of giggles and little angels, of silly smiles and bestest dads. I dream of societies that are about something, and that something is more than nothing. I dream of something that is more than what is owned, but rather what is given. I dream we are all connected, a weave of us, and at that center is God and Love and Joy. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream my favorite dreams tonight. I dream of new beginnings and roads without roadblocks. I dream of a world without oppression, repression, depression. I dream of a world with scary campfire myths of serial killers, and genocide, and child murderers. I dream the dream that no one shivers in this night, for such tales could not be true. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream the dream that God has whispered. I dream that we know Him only. Tonight I dream we know his name, and all may come and worship by him. I dream a world without religions. Tonight there are no wars that portend to be holy. There are no jihads, no crusades, no decimation in the name of the Lord. Tonight, I dream that Love has already won its war. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream of a world of equity. Ah, how bold to dream of such! I dream a world without borders, for none are needed. A world where we are judged not by what we have done, but by what we can do. A world where there are no refugees, but all may take refuge in the kindness of another. A world where men are brothers, and women are sisters, and children are cherished. I dream of love, my children. And tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream a world where nations do not suffer the oppressing hand of AIDS. I dream where no man nor woman nor child would DREAM to allow there be a country where 2 in 5 adults have a fatal disease. I dream of a world where finding the measurement of a gnat’s eyelash on Mars is less important than people dying in Malaria-ridden sunsets. I dream a world where common sense is not uncommon, and medicine is a right and not a business. Tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream that we Rise Up, and Call His Name, and We Are Answered because We Deserve to be answered. Yes, tonight, I dare to dream.

I dream where you may notice the shade of my daughter’s eyes, or the color of her hair, or the tenor of her voice, but you will not count the melanin in her skin. I dream that men of color, such as I, can walk into a room and the attendees are not shocked because that man is the most talented, or the most educated or the most loving. I dare to dream this night.

I dream that You and I are One. I dream there is no Babylon to chant down, but we chant it down, chant it down, chant it down, anyway. Tonight’s my night to dream, and I dare to dream tonight.

Tonight, I dream that being a good, simple, person is valued and encouraged and rewarded. Tonight, I dream that my dream becomes your dream, and that together, we dare not dream another dream.

I have a dream that one day we will remember, we will sing the glad songs, and when that Chariot Swings Low, we will be singing of joy and not of pain.

God help me, tonight I dare to dream.