Some Thoughts

I'm hoping this is just a post alcohol thing.
I know it's temporary, even if that isn't the reason.
That doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I feel emotional. And clingy. And needy. And I hate it.
The worst part is that I feel like you're pulling away.
I feel like you decided I'm no longer worthy of your friendship.

I don't want you to know.
I don't want to need you.
I don't want to ask you to be careful with me.

I'm scared that you might actually hold me gently like I need,
and then I'd be in this even deeper.

Even though I feel this way,
I can still keep my wits about me.
I know, logically, that I shouldn't make assumptions.
I know that if I talk to you,
you will have reasonable things to say.
I know that you're not going to be cruel to me.

So I guess despite my fear,
I'll go ahead and post this.
It's not fair to you for me to hide things.
Just know that unless you bring it up,
I'm going to act like everything is normal.

You don't need this drama.
I know you have enough going on.
I know you just need me to be your friend.