After Glow

I have been thinking about change a lot lately....
And how the changes in the lives of those closest to me,
are going to affect me...
There are not many I would count close to me…
not many that I have let thru the lines
I have drawn up in my life.

Earlier this week, someone wrote me
and said that he hoped that one day
I will see him as a "true friend,"
and the last few days,
I have wondered on the definition of a true friend,
and the point of having any in this day and age
of globe-trotters, and fair weathered-ness.

Touch me and I will follow ~ in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go, I will find my way when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

In many ways, I feel elated and extremely excited
for the changes that are taking place in
the people's lives that I hold dear in my heart.
Yet, a part of me cannot help but also curse the day
that I moved out of my wee little hole
and allowed the friendships to grow
to the state they are now...

Cause when they start to move away,
I'm the one left behind.
And I wonder if I am being a true friend
by thinking such thoughts
~ it's a hateful and spiteful thing to say,
though it is said without malice nor envy.

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believed we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember ~ I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

It's just me admonishing myself
cause I know better
~ Life is full of vanishing acts.
And I have had enough of it to know
that IF something or someone
I didn't know I had, disappeared
- I wouldn't miss it.

I want so much to scream out -
Don't change, don't ever leave...
cause what's to become of me when you do?

Hard days, good times, blue skies, dark nights
I want you to take me ~ wherever you're going to
Maybe say that you'll save me.. a seat next to you.

But it's a bit late to lament on it,
for the lines were established
and they were crossed.
And it's too late to re-draw them now.
But if that's the case,
then why am I still here…
stating and asking…

There for me, every time I've been away
Will you be there for me, thinking of me everyday
Are you my destiny, words I never dared to say
Will you be there for me?

Am I destined to forever walk this road alone?
Please tell me it isn't always going to be so
I don't think I can walk anymore
If I have to go on walking by myself...