When The Want Is Gone

I have no want anymore. I have no life.
Please just let me die and get over this pain.
The teardrops fall, and I can't breathe.
My nose is too full. Yet no one knows.
My best friend sits right across town
yet she does not visit or call,
but really she is not my best friend.
I have lost her. I lost her awhile ago.
And I don't care. I do not have the energy to care.
Stop crying! Stop! But I can't because what do I have?
Nothing. I have no desire anymore to do anything.
Just let me curl up in a ball and die please. Please.
I guess I am not strong. I can't handle this. What do I want?
There is nothing. There is no one. No one who cares at all.
I am depressed, but I can't get help.
I usually can put on the facade and everyone thinks
that everything is okay. But it's not okay.
It is almost as far away from okay as you can get before you die.
I want to kill myself. But I am scared.
I guess I just discovered my want.

so don't think to far into this, and don't worry about me killing myself,
i only want to now and then but I don't have the guts to go through with it
and besides as they say "This to shall pass"