Gotta Love Working The Night Audit

So, what an interesting night I had. Let's detail:

So, at about 11:10 I get a call from the third floor, telling me there is a guy passed out in the floor. As luck would have it, "P" is standing at the desk talking with me about my birthday plans. So, he heads up there to check it out.

About five minutes later, "P" calls me down at the desk and says "Hey, do we have a Generic Name staying here tonight?"

"We sure do. He's in 319."

"Great. He passed out right outside his door. I can't get this guy to wake up."

So, I ask if I need to come up there to assist, "P" says why not, so I throw up my "Be Back Shortly" sign, and run upstairs.

Sure enough, this guy is sprawled out on the floor outside his room. "P "gives him a hearty series of shakes, rolls him around, nothing. This guy is passed smooth the fuck out, to coin a phrase.

So, we discuss what to do, and decide that we can't just drag him in his room on the off chance that he aspirates, so I grab his phone off his belt to see if we can't find someone to call to come get him, or to take care of him. Of course his phone is dead. Great. So, I use the cordless phone and give the PD a call. I call the non-emergency line, and the Desk Sgt. has a good laugh because I described the guy as 'passed the fuck out'. She says she'll send out an officer right away.

I run back downstairs to the front desk, to get the phone number off his reservation, and about that time the Officer walks in. We ride the elevator back to the third floor and he asks a few questions. "Is he a guest? Do you know how much he has had to drink? When did you find him? What did you find with him? Is this his room?" etc. So, the officer gives the guy a good sternum rub (for the uneducated, you basically rub someone over the sternum with your knuckle. It hurts pretty bad, and will generally wake someone up from a drunken state) and the guy doesn't really stir much. He sort of flops his arms around. So, the officer grabs his phone and tries to turn it on. Nope, it's still dead. So, we head into his room to look for a phone charger. The officer checks in the guy's one bag while Pete and I look around the room for one. No luck. Just as we give up, a second officer pokes his head into the room. He points at the guy, the other officer shrugs. They grab his wallet (which he has been laying on) and right behind his driver's license is his work ID. He's a Firefighter. Fantastic!

So, first cop holds down the guy's arms, so he doesn't flop, and the second one gives him a sternum rub while going 'Hey, firefighter! Wake up! You gotta wake up, buddy!' After about two minutes of this, the guy sits up and his eyes pop open. Super. We're in the clear. Or...not so much. He looks up at the officer and goes "Oh. It's you." The cop tells him that he needs to get up and get into his room. The guy goes 'So you want to play this game?' and the second officer says, 'I don't think you know who you're playing with.'

At this time, drunk guy smiles and kicks the second cop in the groin. Out comes the pepper spray, and drunk guy gets it right in the face. All four of us ("P", Me, Officers One and Two) get a nice blast of it too. So, they grab him and drag him down the hall away from where they just sprayed him, so they can cuff him, me and "P" step back so we can do our coughing. "P" suggested that I might want to go get a fan.

Basically, the story pretty much ends there. I get a fan, we get a luggage cart and haul the (probably soon to be fired) Firefighter out to one of the police cars, and I get to fill out a great big incident report. Super!

Hope you guys have a Happy Easter!