Random Thoughts

i will say what i want to say...
i will do what i want to do..
i will never regret being rude
in front of a person,
regardless of their age and profession...
i only respect those who deserve my respect...
i hate being restricted...
____________
i am very judgmental...
but i only judge things
based on my "thorough" observations...
i dont like to praise those
who already know how good they are..
____________

i hate people who speak highly of their self..
i hate all knowing people...

___________
I value those who are courageous enough
to grasp my unfathomable side..
They're only few.

But I feel so secure with them.
I am easily fascinated on things/person
that i can easily relate myself into.
They can easily tame me.
They can easily get my faith.

__________

To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern

I want to thank you for your opinion.
I am glad you felt comfortable enough with me
to express yourself so freely.
I think the phrase you used was,
and I quote, "I'm just keeping it real".

Well, lets do that shall we.
The reality is you did not first gather all the facts.
You have no idea what events led up to the situation
and you don't know the subject matter now.
In fact, the only thing you have is your opinion
and we all know that opinion is not fact.
With that part of reality stated,
what makes you the authority on other peoples lives.
Is there some law that people, including myself,
should think like you think and feel like you feel?
And why does not thinking and feeling like you
make others wrong and you right?

Again, I want to thank you for your opinion
and I appreciate your honesty, but
I must admit I don't remember asking you.
But, when I don't know what to think
or how I'm supposed to feel about something
that is personal to my life
I will remember you and your opinions.
Even if your opinion is lacking all the facts,
I am sure you will not hesitate to give it anyway,
whether you are asked for it or not.

Have a good day.





to those of you that this dose not concern,
thanks for reading my blogs,
and I don't mind comments as long as
they are not meant to harm, or cause bad feelings
towards anyone, myself included...
if you have a nasty comment about anything on my blog,
please KEEP IT TO YOURSELF

I Dare You

Look me in the eyes, Tell me you hate me.
Then validate your point by proving you know nothing about me.

Glance at me on the street, form opinions that quickly degrade
Bet if I asked, you'd lie about what you think.

I dare you,

Judge me. Take one look at me
Decide that I'm "just a fag"

Talk to me. Hear me out while I defend my case
Amazingly I'm not that different from you.

I dare you,

Give me the chance to explain, allow me one shot at making it big
Let me take my time to shine

Taste my fears, accept me for the differences we possess
Treat me with respect

I dare you,

Laugh in my face, you know I'll only prove you wrong.
Lower my importance based on my sexuality

Read my works of art, suddenly I'm not so different,
Strange what experience does to a person, eh?

I dare you,

To treat me fairly, though I'm different.
Ignore the fact that I am not the "norm"
Don't make me fight you for a chance

To judge me, form ideas, though we've never met
Undermine my importance here

But finally, I dare you,

Hear my story. Watch the words spill from trembly lips
Feel the passion in my voice

Give me a single chance to prove
That I'm no different than anyone else,
That I'll make it in the end.

You know I'll beat the odds.

Why is it?

Why is it,
I dreamt about you last night.
When I had other worries on my mind?

Why is it,
I remember every portion of that dream,
where we were, and what you looked like.

Why is it,
in this dream you whispered in my ear,
and I can still hear your sweet voice,
and feel your breath upon my neck.

Why is it,
in this fantasy world I felt your arm around me,
and I can still feel it to this moment.

When your in my dreams you steal my breath,
you take all sorrows away,
and put them on a distant star.

I smiled as I awoke from this world,
and was saddened by the realization,
that it was just a dream and not reality.

I try to go back,
to resume this world and live there forever,
but I can't and my heart aches.

You play with my heart,
and make me cry without even knowing,
why is that?

Someday Soon

I will learn who I am

I will wake up at a decent hour
and not feel tired for the rest of the day

I will eat only when I am hungry

I will stop holding on to the past .

I will feel less fear

I will find the one I need to find

I will travel the World

I will change someone's life

I will discover more music

I will discover more art

I will discover more stories

I will suffer a broken heart

I will fall in love all over again

I will stand transfixed by a sunset

I will wonder whether the stranger
I just brushed past could have
meant so much more

I will think of you

I will think of him

I will think of her

I will think of us

I will, I will.

drawn towards the edge, do i assume i could fly?

It feels like...


...being on the edge of a cliff and holding your breath until the second before you pass out, then diving down, knowing that no one will be there to catch you.

...a million shoulders to cry on and you're trying to pick the best one for each situation, but, hesitating because you don't want to further taint your image to anyone.

...wanting closeness with everyone, but, being so scared that one by one you push them all away and justify to yourself that you're better off alone.

...everyone would understand if you just gave them the chance, but, by being so caught up in what you're feeling, it claims all of your energy to shut them out instead.

...you want to let it go and at times you do, but, on days like today, you're reminded of how easily you could slip back into the unknown and it is only your fear that's keeping you detached.

...wanting to be happy and knowing you're happy, but, still feeling like something you can't quite put your finger on, continually holds you back.

...each moment you're continually losing a battle you cannot win.

Dear Someone

I am an optimist. I am a fool. I am not sure. Because I'm your best friend, because I love you, if what you want is to be with her then I will do everything in my power to support you and help you make your relationship work. But because I'm your best friend, because I love you, I also have to say... that I'm in love with you. I'm in love with you. I can't promise a future, I can't promise perfection, because we're us, I'm me and you're you. no one knows what will happen. But in my heart, I am sure. I'm in love with you. And I hope you're in love with me too.