When Nothing is Stagnant

I have some things to say,
but they're not solidified in my mind.
If I start writing now,
it will wander all over the place
and not actually say anything.
So I'm sitting here in silence,
trying to settle on one topic.
One point of choice.
One idea that I want to convey.

While I sat here trying
to fall into a groove,
I realized that maybe
that is what I need
to write about today.
Maybe I don't need to write
about my flaws,
my impatience,
or the desire
to learn and grow,
or the work it takes
to get where
I want to be.
Maybe today
I just need to say
that I'm thinking about
all of that,
and so much more.

I want to thank you for that.

Thank you, J.
You challenge me.
Every conversation,
every thought
that escapes your head
challenges me.
It's contrary to my
comfortable little hole
in the soil,
and I love that about you.
I love that you argue with me.
You force me to look at myself
in a different way.
You help me to see
my relationships differently.
And by looking at all the angles
-- even the ones I don't like --
I get to see a little better.

Thank you, N.
You support me.
I know we try not
to dwell on the past,
but I want to delve back
just long enough to say
that you have always done
your very best to support me.
When I cried,
you held me and listened.
When I had a problem,
you offered a solution.
When I was hurting,
you tried to save me.
Anything I want to do,
I know that I can count on you
to help me along.

Thank you, M.
You feed me.
I don't mean literal food,
although you do that
also on occasion.
You feed my passion.
You feed my drive.
Our interactions
-- even when not
entirely pleasant --
give me the energy
to get through every day.
You fill me up
and keep me vibrant.
I'm pretty sure I glow
just from talking to you.
Life has color
as long as I have you.

Thank you,
to all my dear friends.
You complete me.
You fill my days and nights
with smiles, and laughter.
It's all of you that make
this life worth living.
It's all of you that make
me want to keep growing,
keep going, keep getting
stronger and better.
It's all of you that fill
my heart and mind.
I am beautiful
not because of myself,
but because of you.
Each of you.

I can't even start
to list names or initials,
for fear I'd leave someone out.
Or, at the least, make this entry
far longer than anyone
could sit through.
You know who you are.

(If you're reading this,
and you think it's not you,
think again. It's you.)