Honestly

You really don’t know me…
And I really don’t know you either.
I want to tell you right now
not to try and fool me into thinking
that you do any longer,
because I’m not going to pretend either.
The fact remains that I really am
unknown to you just as you really are unknown to me.

This blog was created as a way for me to speak out…
to let my feelings come into the open,
yet because I was trying to not hurting anyone’s feelings,
I shied away from sharing my own true thoughts and feelings.

I’ve tried to put on a strong face
about everything and pretend I’m ok,
but to put it both honestly and bluntly
without beating around the bush…
I’m not. You know what though?
I know you don’t care.
I know you could care less
about what I’m feeling.
My thoughts and feelings aren’t important to you,
and it shouldn’t be like that.
Yet, I put up with it.
I deal with it…
Why? Because I care.

At the same time though,
I’m not going to throw a temper tantrum about it…
It confuses me greatly on many levels…
Because I know lots of things,
and I just don’t understand
how and why on many different…
But maybe it’s because
I just don’t want to understand…
So here I am, trying to be strong about this…
I’m putting on the nice, happy face,
and pretending that I could care less… and that I’m ok.
Deep down, I know you can see past this,
but once again… you don’t care.

Reality check 101
though in case you didn’t know it.
I’m not ok.
And if you don’t realize this by now,
then you never will.