Do you even still notice me?

At times I feel as though no one can see me…
I feel like I’m standing in the middle
of a crowded room shouting…
and yet no one can hear me…
I feel as though I’m crying in front of people,
and yet no one sees my tears…
I feel trapped inside this box…
no one knows where I am,
and at the samt time,
no one cares to try and find me.
I feel lost, uncertain, unsure…
afraid, isolated and alone.
I can’t voice the pain I’m going through
mentally and emotionally because…
when I do voice it, no one hears.

When my friends need someone to listen to
or bounce ideas off of, they come to me…
When they need a shoulder to cry on,
arms to hold them,
someone to give sound advice
without sugar coating the problem,
or someone to just sit with them
and hold their hand… they come to me.
Yet when I need the same… I am alone.
No one is there for me in the way
that I am there for others… and that hurts.

I’m not looking for sympathy…
This blog wasn’t started for that…
It was started in order for me
to be able to share my thoughts
and feelings without having
to answer for my words… and to date,
I haven’t had to answer for any of my words…
Sure, they have brought up questions…
but the questions I didn’t want to answer
went ignored, or more often than not…
I simply told the person
I would not be answering them…
I just want to vent…

Odd as it may sound… despite
the rest of the people that surround me…
I still feel isolated and unsure… I feel alone…
I wish people made as much time for me
as I made for them… or hell… even 1/2 the time
that I made for them will do.
I wonder… would it hit home
if I suddenly wasn’t there for them
as often as they needed me?
How much of a difference would it make
if instead of giving them the time and attention
that I usually do when they are in need…
I backed away from them and started giving them
the same amount of attention as
they showed me in my own time of need?

Quite frankly… that’s all I have to say
on this subject for now…
This post isn’t meant to piss anyone off…
hurt anyones feelings, or upset anyone…
It’s just may own personal way
of venting without doing any of the above.
It doesn’t mean I love you any less…
it just means that some of you guys and gals
need to think of people other than yourself,
because quite frankly… I wonder if you even notice
myself or others anymore… outside of fullfilling
your own emotional wants and needs….

Remember… the world doesn’t revolve around you…
Other people have needs, wants, desires, and problems as well…
and sometimes… they want someone to talk to
just as much as you yourself do
during your time of happiness, sorrow, strength,
pain, or any other emotion you may be going through.

That is all…