Some things left unsaid

So in my last post I was angry from the words I read. I guess this whole thing has been a long time coming. There were things in the last post that I meant to say, but didn't because I was blinded by anger. I did say that it dosn't matter who is to blame... what I meant by that is that we have both grown up, we have changed, we both have diffeant lives now, and we have both moved on from things in our past. Sometimes that happens in friendships, and I don't think either person involved is to blame, it just a part of life.
I said that when you find new friends you forget about old ones, and again this was out of anger... I know that Ann is a better friend to you than I could be now. Thats not to say that she is a better friend than I was back then, but maybe she is, who knows... thats not for me to say. And I am happy that when the time came for us to grow up and to change and to move on, that you found a friend as good as her... and I'm sorry that I am no longer a friend, but again thats ok, its a part of life.
I said so much in my last post but meant so little... and I left so much unsaid, and I am sorry. What I failed to say, is how much it meant to me when we were good friends. I didn't mention how thankful I still am for all the help you gave me along the way. I didn't say that I am grateful for the teachings you gave either... the lessons of innocent love, having hope even when things look the worst, having faith in a higher being... even when I didn't want to believe... all those in so much more... were than as they are now, huge things in my life... and again I want to say thank you.
When my home was no longer a home anymore, you were one of the few people, I could count on to help me. You helped by giving me food when we didn't have money to get any, you helped by looking for furniture for us. But more importantly, you helped by allowing me to come over, spend time doing whatever, and for however long, not having to think about all the shit that was wrong in my life, not having to stress over my family falling apart, just being able tha enjoy the moment, to have fun... to be a kid.
I would never lie about you... I may have in the past, but I was young then... I have changed... I just wish you could see that. I have so much respect for you... I could never say anything bad about you. Unless out of anger, but when it is that way, I don't realize what I am saying. I know that is not an excuse for the last post, but at least I am trying to make it right. It's ok that we are no longer friends, I respect that, cause like I said we have both changed so much from who we used to be. I just don't want any ill feelings towards either of us... What I want is for us to look be abel to look back on things that happend and laugh... not get angry... or sad. I know the memories of me and you, and of another friendship that has fallen apart due to things beyond our control (me and Joey), those are memories that keep me going, keep me looking forward to tomorrow, they keep me warm on the coldest nights.... and they remind me of all there is to be thankful for in life.
In closing, I want to say again that I am sorry for all that has happened, for all that came undone. At the same time I have so much to be thankful for.... and I hope you feel the same. So I guess this is something that I have needed to do for a long time, for me, and probably for you also... this needs closure, so we can fully move on... this is the last post I will ever make about you, and since I am planning on emailing it to you also, this is the last email I will ever send.... and as hard as these next words are to say, I know its time they are said... thank you for everything from the bottom of heart, and goodbye my ol' friend.