Lost

I looked for you today,
searched for your hand
with the blindness that comes with surety
and as I reached for you
- all I found was empty air.
There was little surprise
- only a deep and abiding loneliness
accompanied by the knowledge
that it is I that let go.

I released my hold,
my fingers slipping from yours
as I spotted that butterfly
just over the horizon and I gave chase.

The butterfly eluded me
and when I turned back to find you
- you were gone.

Vanished like some figment of my imagination
- almost as though you were never there. Almost.

I know better than to attempt to
fool myself into believing
the scars do not remain.
They are deep and only the surface has healed.

I find myself at a loss.
Uncertain where my path will lead.
In my naivete, I counted on you
always being there
and now you've left a hole.

I think, I will just settle right here
- sit down for a spell
and perhaps the wind
will blow something
in my path to fill it with.

Or perhaps, I will gather the strength
to get up and find it on my own.