Ok so the last entry was some html that an old friend tried to leave in the chat box but wouldn't work, and it seems not to work here either, anyways... i may add more later, who knows :)

Suicidal Tendency

I lay on the floor
Thinking about the things I've done
The people I hurt
The hearts thats een broken

With the gun to my head
I wonder why I am the way I am
This facade of a strong-willed...unique individual
When I'm nothing but a wreckless bastard

No one can stop me for what I'm about to do
But I can't help but think
Should I live for myself
Or die for them

One Year and Six Months

So I got to see Joey, for a short while before he went to Indy for a few days before flying back to Vegas. Helen and I ended up taking him, crystal and baby katrina to Indy... so we had a lil while to talk, and try to catch up. Then it was a long ride home, listeing to cd's and most songs reminding me of me and joey... on in paticualar is the one you'll find the lyrics to below, I changed 2 lines of the song however to fit more to how I feel... the tital is one year six months, and that is how long its been since they moved to Vegas... and it seems like a lifetime since we got to hang out... and I could tell it was like he didn't know me anymore, and in a way I guess he dosn't... much like i don't really know him anymore,... well read the lyrics, I hope you like them... anyways, I am going to bed now, it's real late, and I have to work tomorrow.

Sew this up with threads of reason and regret
So I will not forget. I will not forget
How this felt one year six months ago
I know I cannot forget. I cannot forget

I'm falling into memories of you
and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

I can tell that you don't know me anymore
It's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
And being on this road is anything but sure
Maybe we'll forget, I hope we don't forget

I'm falling into memories of you
and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that I can share with you

So many talks till ours of the night
I'm forgeting all the words we spoke
Close up these eyes, try not to cry
All that I've got to pull me through
is memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you
Memories of you

I'm falling into memories of you
and things we used to do
Follow me there
A beautiful somewhere
A place that we can share
Falling into memories of you
and things we used to do

....Joey

Even though distance has brought us apart I want you to know that you are the bestest friend I ever had I remember when I use to live next to you We would always do somethign whenever we had the chance You always listened to my problems I listened to yours too, We told each other secrets And we talked about so many other things, I remember how we Use to make each other laugh, And even the times we've cried I thank God for giving me a friend like you, For putting You in my way, I love you as a friend, You are like my brother from another mother
To me, Thanks for everything, I appreciate it, Thanks for All those birthday and christmas presents you've given me Thanks for all those beautiful moments and beautiful Memories that now live on my mind, I will always remember them As well as you, I want you to know that I'll never forget you You will always be in my heart and prayers, As well as your daughter, wife, family and sisters, I wish you the best of luck with life You are very special to me you're an amazing person All I know is that I could have a thousand friends but none Of them will ever compare to you, Stay strong, I'll try To keep in touch, don't let anybody bring you down
Remember I'm always here for you, I'm always one call away Please don't ever change, take good care of yourself And always remember that you're My Best Friend

3 o'clock night

... there'll always someone out there
frustrating over something or other.
Whether it be a writer pulling at his hair
because his writings came out all discombobulated
or an artist tearing up his 10th half-finished artwork
into a million pieces because he couldn't catch
the way the shadow dances in the candlelight.
For every 3 o'clock at night, someone out there
will be lying wide awake on his bed, feeling
all lonely and depressed because the silence
of the night makes him yearn for company.
But unfortunately, there'll always be a 3 o'clock at night.
So, we'll just have to think of all the happy things
and keep our minds properly occupied
until the awful hour pass

Dad...

i dont like it when you talk to me
coz every time you do,
you just critisize me,
or put me down,
or just make me feel bad.
and i dont like feeling bad.
if i want to feel bad,
i can do it myself.