Wise Man Said

Man and Woman

Man is the most elevated of creatures,
Woman the most sublime of ideals.

God made for man a throne;for woman an altar.
The throne exalts, the altar sanctifies.

Man is the brain, Woman, the heart.
The brain creates light, the heart, Love.
Light engenders, Love resurrects.

Because of reason Man is strong,
because of tears Woman is invincible.
Reason is convincing, tears moving.

Man is capable of all heroism, Woman of all martyrdom.
Heroism ennobles, martyrdom sublimates.

Man has supremacy, Woman, preference.
Supremacy is strength, preference is the right.

Man is a genius, Woman, an angel.
Genius is immeasurable, the angel undefinable.

The aspiration of man is supreme glory,
The aspiration of woman is extreme virtue.
Glory creates all that is great; virtue, all that is divine.

Man is a code, Woman a gospel.
A code corrects, the gospel perfects.

Man thinks, Woman dreams.
To think is to have a worm in the brain,
to dream is to have a halo on the brow.

Man is an ocean, Woman a lake.
The ocean has the adorning pearl, the lake, dazzling poetry.

Man is the flying eagle, Woman, the singing nightingale.
To fly is to conquer space. To sing is to conquer the Soul.

Man is a temple, Woman a shrine.
Before the temple we discover ourselves, before the shrine we kneel.

In short, man is found where earth finishes, woman where heaven begins.

photograph

So this is a new Nickelback song, but it says alot as to how I feel right now

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if It's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh oh oh
Oh god I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it

So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me

Some things left unsaid

So in my last post I was angry from the words I read. I guess this whole thing has been a long time coming. There were things in the last post that I meant to say, but didn't because I was blinded by anger. I did say that it dosn't matter who is to blame... what I meant by that is that we have both grown up, we have changed, we both have diffeant lives now, and we have both moved on from things in our past. Sometimes that happens in friendships, and I don't think either person involved is to blame, it just a part of life.
I said that when you find new friends you forget about old ones, and again this was out of anger... I know that Ann is a better friend to you than I could be now. Thats not to say that she is a better friend than I was back then, but maybe she is, who knows... thats not for me to say. And I am happy that when the time came for us to grow up and to change and to move on, that you found a friend as good as her... and I'm sorry that I am no longer a friend, but again thats ok, its a part of life.
I said so much in my last post but meant so little... and I left so much unsaid, and I am sorry. What I failed to say, is how much it meant to me when we were good friends. I didn't mention how thankful I still am for all the help you gave me along the way. I didn't say that I am grateful for the teachings you gave either... the lessons of innocent love, having hope even when things look the worst, having faith in a higher being... even when I didn't want to believe... all those in so much more... were than as they are now, huge things in my life... and again I want to say thank you.
When my home was no longer a home anymore, you were one of the few people, I could count on to help me. You helped by giving me food when we didn't have money to get any, you helped by looking for furniture for us. But more importantly, you helped by allowing me to come over, spend time doing whatever, and for however long, not having to think about all the shit that was wrong in my life, not having to stress over my family falling apart, just being able tha enjoy the moment, to have fun... to be a kid.
I would never lie about you... I may have in the past, but I was young then... I have changed... I just wish you could see that. I have so much respect for you... I could never say anything bad about you. Unless out of anger, but when it is that way, I don't realize what I am saying. I know that is not an excuse for the last post, but at least I am trying to make it right. It's ok that we are no longer friends, I respect that, cause like I said we have both changed so much from who we used to be. I just don't want any ill feelings towards either of us... What I want is for us to look be abel to look back on things that happend and laugh... not get angry... or sad. I know the memories of me and you, and of another friendship that has fallen apart due to things beyond our control (me and Joey), those are memories that keep me going, keep me looking forward to tomorrow, they keep me warm on the coldest nights.... and they remind me of all there is to be thankful for in life.
In closing, I want to say again that I am sorry for all that has happened, for all that came undone. At the same time I have so much to be thankful for.... and I hope you feel the same. So I guess this is something that I have needed to do for a long time, for me, and probably for you also... this needs closure, so we can fully move on... this is the last post I will ever make about you, and since I am planning on emailing it to you also, this is the last email I will ever send.... and as hard as these next words are to say, I know its time they are said... thank you for everything from the bottom of heart, and goodbye my ol' friend.

Crying Wolf

Ya know what, you say its over now, its fucking been over. We both know this... its been over for a long time. Things didn't change this past june or so... thats not when all this happened, like you seem to want to think. And this big climax you are making, isn't the end of it all again like you seem to think. Just like last time, you get a new friend, and sunddenly you have no time for other people, you start hanging out less and less with others, you start talking to people less and less... and you turn everything back to where its there fault you don't hang out or talk to them anymore. I did tell Sandra that you said you were going to be a nun, did you not say that? I then told her well she can't blame me, cause I gave her 7 years to have a chance to be loved. But I forgot its only your side of the story that matters, when you go around screaming don't judge me, well when you only care about one side of the story, you are making assumtions about thigns, and o what is an assumption.... o my its a judgement, so if you won't want people judging you then don't go around judgeing others. I never told anyone you were bi or gay, I respect you enough not to go around telling people that. Be it true or untrue, its not my place to say, or to tell others. It's your story to tell... not mine. So where ever you got that from, who knows... but again your side of the story is the only one that matters. Whatever the reasons are that we no longer talk, I don't care where the blame lies, be it me or you, but one of us is adult enough to just walk away from it, and not keep thorwing around the blame, making us seem like we are the victom. I have been a victom about alot of things in my life but this is not one of them. I have never seen the end of our friendship as either of us being a victom, but you on the other hand say I judge you, I lie about you, I do this, I do that, be a big enough person and just walk away all together, and leave it be. Stop being a victom of it... it happend it ended its over, just leave it be.

All We Ever Find

Say exactly how you feel right now you’re free to say it all
There is no one here to judge you I only love you
You’re free to close your eyes and fall You can trust me,
this is real Say exactly how you feel
Tell me all your dreams And what you think love means
We’ll lock the world outside Embrace the gift of time
Promising forever Knowing that this moment Might be all we ever find
Every breath of who you are Tells a story that I love
I have finally found the truth In what I see in you
And what I feel with every touch The simple beauty
of your heart In every breath of who you are
Tell me all your dreams And what you think love means
We’ll lock the world outside Embrace the gift of time
Promising forever Knowing that this moment Might be all we ever find

Oh life.. Don't just pass me by.. Take me with you.. :)

To do (if possible) before I die:

- go bungee jumping
- go sky diving
- win the lottery :P
- lie down on the grass in a star filled night with a loved one
- count the stars
- shout from a mountain top
- go to egypt and see the pyramids
- travel by train and explore europe for a couple of months
- experience christmas and new year in a foreign country
- capture special moments in a photograph and let time stand still
- kiss in the rain
- learn how to play a guitar and be good at it
- compose a song
- watch the sunrise and sunset on my wedding day
- have a family with kids and build a home someday
- watch a meteor shower
- travel in space (i know.. too farfetched! :P)


These are the things that came to mind as I type this entry.
I don't want to sound neurotic thinking of death every minute
but these are the things that I want to fulfill before I die..
Some are simple.. some are in betweens.. and some
are just outright too farfetched, but it's the possibility
of it happening that keeps me going. Maybe someday,
when I look back to this day, I can say to myself,
"Yeh! I've done that..and that.. and that too..",
and then smile.. I may have my whole lifetime ahead of me
but I still hope in the end, I wouldn't be running out of time
and in the end realize that I have done nothing.
That's one of my greatest fear, you know.. that the things
I want the most will remain a wishful thinking, just a fantasy.. never a reality..

Time For A New Look

Ok So Its Almost 3am, And I Really Should Be In Bed, But As You Can See I Decided To Change The Looks Of The Place, I Decided To Do Away With The Zelda Stuff Since I Lost My Web Page And All, But Anyways I Am Still Working On A New Website, So I'll Keep You All Up To Date On That, And Nothing New Happened Today, I Cleaned My Room A Little, But Didn't Get Done, Cause I Was Being Lazy, And Also I Called Helen And Talked To Her While She Was Walking Home, And Then I Talked To Her Online For A While, Then I Called Her Again Cause She Wanted To Tell Me A Few Things And We Talked For Awhile, Her Son Justice Was Cracking My Up, First He Was Playing With Some Coins She Found, And Kept Saying It Was His Money, And Then He Put Baby Powder On Helen And On Everything Else In Her Room... I Couldn't Stop Laughing, I Am Sure She Has A Mess To Clean Up And I Do Feel Bad, But It Was Still Funny. Anyways, Her And I Are Going Out Tomorrow. And I Guess I Will Update More After That.