Fathers Day Post Secrets

Fathers Day Post Secrets

A change is coming

I'm going to only use this blog for my posts that have something to do with "gay". Such as my gay rights posts, and other such things. I'm going to start putting all my non-related posts on my other blog, which you can visit if you wish at http://therisingphoenix.wordpress.com/. Some posts there are password protected. If you want the password send me an email, or leave me a comment and let me know who you are, and chances are I'll send the password to you, unless I have reason not too. Anyways, keep checking this blog, and start checking my other one. Also I'm still wanting help with my "Gay Experience Project", if you've not yet read about, click here and do so. Thanks

Bittersweet Memories

Sometimes this Life
just becomes too much
I wish that I wasn't even born,
I often get to the point
That I feel I can't go on.
I just want to end the suffering
But I know I could never do that,
But suicidal thoughts
run through my head
I want to go back to the point
when I could bare this burden
and my Life wasn't a curse,
I try to remember
how things used to be
but it only intensifies this hurt.
It's like adding gas to flames of a fire
That was already burning bright,
Turning on the switch to a lamp inside
that is a spot light on my Life.
I thought the pain had ended
Or I at least had it under control,
But I was wrong like all times before
It seems I have sold my soul.
Sentenced myself to a life of pain
And stuck with left-overs of what used to be,
Just the memories of a Life once lived
That's all I have left inside of me.
The happiness, the smiles
The joy and the laughter,
That's how it once was
But now my Life is a disaster.
Memories of the past fill my head
And tears begin to form behind my eyes,
But I refuse to let them make that journey
I refuse to let myself cry.
The memories of a Life that was left behind
They seem to only be a tease,
Now I'm stuck with pain and hurt
And left with bittersweet memories.

Five

one shot for my past.
three for the present.
and one for the future.

cheers!

*grin*

Untitled

i thought i could live without you,
i think i was wrong,
everytime i see you,
it looks like you've moved on,
obviously our friendship,
didnt mean that much to you,
because you're willing to throw it away,
with every little thing i do,
you dont even try to talk to me,
you dont even seem to care,
but just in case you didnt know,
im still here,
you gave up way too easily,
you didnt even try,
were not even friends anymore,
and i bet that didnt even make you cry,
your always looking for reasons,
not to talk to me,
if im that bad of a person,
let me know cause i dont see,
i dont see how you can look away,
every time i look at you,
and i dont see how you can just give up,
because of one little thing i do,
friends dont just quit,
and they dont just move on,
so maybe we werent friends,
maybe the whole time we were wrong.