How to make a Chris

Ingredients: 1 part friendliness 3 parts silliness 3 parts leadership

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little lustfulness if desired!

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Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Internalized Homophobia - Homophobia can come from homosexuals, too

Are you a gay man who wakes up and considerers himself straight? Do you avoid taking your boyfriend or girlfriend around your straight friends so they won't feel uncomfortable or have to see the "gay" part of you? Do you hate labels, but describe yourself as "straight-acting?" Have you heard of internalized homophobia?

If you just came out within the last two years then internalized homophobia, to some degree, is to be expected. I’ve been there, done that, and am seriously disgusted with myself for that period of my life. I hated being around very openly gay people because they embodied what I didn’t want to be. I avoided conversations that may lead to someone asking me about my personal life because I wanted to be accepted and not rejected. I bragged about my straight-actingness and ignored the fact that straight men didn't do the things I was doing privately. I secretly hated part of myself and didn’t realize it until one day, after I had been called a "fag" one too many times, suddenly, I snapped and realized that I am gay! I had been ashamed of who I was and I wasn’t able to see it because I was afraid of people not accepting me.

I realized that my fears were right. There were some people that didn’t accept me, but I realized that I just didn’t care anymore. There would always be those people that didn’t like me because I’m gay. What’s even funnier is that most of those people will always find a reason not to like someone. If it wasn’t because I was gay, then it would be because of some other stupid reason that really didn’t matter. So I stopped pretending that the straighter I acted, the better off I was. I did begin to accept the people that I previously viewed as "flamers" because they were actually cool and more comfortable with themselves than I had ever been.

I started to realize what it was to be gay, at a late point of my life, and while the fact that I am gay is not the main identifying factor of who I am, it is still a factor in who I am. I am many things, but one thing that I am not anymore is homophobic.

While I may not embrace the "gay" lifestyle, I don’t hate it. While I may not embrace the "straight" lifestyle, I don’t pretend I am a part of it. I embrace who I am-- every part of who I am. And if those parts come with a label or make me stand out, that’s okay because I’m not embarrassed of those parts of me anymore and I don’t care who is.

Face the facts... it's time to take a stand

As a Gay Rights activist myself, and as a gay American citizen. I personally believe that members of the LGBTQ Community (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Questioning) should be treated with the same respect as everyone else. I believe that no mater what a person feels for another person, shouldn't affect how they exist in America. Just because someone doesn't exactly fit into someone else's view of "normal" means that they aren't worthy of the same respect and rights as a human being? It makes no sense. A lot of people will say that in the Bible it is an abomination under the eyes of God for man to lay with another man, but yet, does it not say also in the Bible that Thou shalt not cast judgment upon thy neighbors. I'm not trying to bring religion in on the topic because thats the last thing I want to do. This topic of Gay Rights has been avoided forever. I think it's now time for the people of the LGBTQ Community to take a stand and show the world that we are going to fight in what we believe in.

When America declared their independence from England on the fourth of July in 1776, the American colonies showed Britain that they were going to fight for what they wanted, their own lives. Thats what we should do now. Every time I turn on the news or read the paper, there is always some article about how all these people are getting what they want because they are fighting for it. Back when America was segregated into the "colored" and the "white" people fought for their freedom, they fought for what they wanted... Rights. They fought for their right to vote, and to own land, and to ride in the front of the bus.

Rosa Parks
-December 1, 1955. She became famous for refusing to give up her bus seat. This soon lead to the Montgomery Bus Boycott. Which was one of the largest racial discrimination movements in US history. The African-American people fought for what they wanted. Fair, equal, and justified rights in this country, and as American citizens, all people of the LGBTQ Community should be entitled to those rights as well. The right to marry, the right to vote, the right to adopt, the right to work, the right to speak up, and most of all, the right to co-exist with all of the other thousands of American people living in this country today.

This is an example of discrimination. Except it's not racial discrimination we are dealing with now. It's Sexual Orientation discrimination that we are currently dealing with. People are being murdered and brutally killed and beaten to death just because of their sexual preference. Gay men and women cannot co-exist in this world with other people because all everyone wants to do is be a child and point fingers at something that doesn't fit into their perception of "normal". People are dieing out there. People are being fired from their jobs just because they have a partner of the same gender. How many more lives will be lost before we can put an end to all of this? How many more people will be killed just because they want to love, and care for someone of the same sex. We can't control how we feel. We can't make ourselves change our view on life.

For more information on this topic please visit http://www.humanrightscampaign.com/ or http://www.pflag.org/

The Gay Experience

One of my goals in life is to write a book. I want to write a book all about the 'Gay Experience", and I want it to include everything, so I need you're help. I need every aspect of the gay experience covered. I want to know what it's like to be a gay parent, or what it's like to have a gay parent. I want to know what it's like to be gay and old, and gay and young. I want to know everything, what it's like to go through school, work, friendships, relationships, family, all as a gay person. I need to know the gay experience. I need to know what it's like to be bisexual. Does you're religion work with your sexuality, can they mesh? I want to know what you're sexuality means to you. That's what the book is going to be about, what sexuality means to every different person, because it's different for everyone. So what I need from you is you're story, and your experience. And you can send it to me in whatever way you like, you can send a story or a poem, or whatever works for you. I just need it typed up, it can be however long, however short, length doesn't matter. I need to know you're age, where you're from, and if you want me to know, you're name. So if you could do that, if you want to, it would help me out big time. I would love it, and I think it would be an awesome resource for everyone out there. So have a great day, and get to writing.

Email me you're stories to

morethangay@gmail.com

i could've missed the pain, but i'd have had to miss the dance

This is a six word epitaph meme.

The rules:
Write your own six word memoir or epitaph.
Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you want.
Tag at least five more blogs.
Leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

Inspired by life's ever-changing dance.

Becoming

I am sitting here watching the latest
Grey's Anatomy episode, entitled "Becoming".
With its return after the writers strike,
the show has really taken on a turn.
I'm not too sure what to expect,
with another 3 episodes to go
before the season's finale.
This season has been really, really confusing
~ it's a little harder to identify, and not identify,
with the characters of the show.

Change
letting go of the old
and embracing the new.
Redefining who you are
and struggling like crazy
to be that better version of yourself
that you see in your head.

According to the writer of the episode,
it's about "Becoming who you want to be,
who you know you could be
if you weren't quite so screwed up
or preoccupied with kissing
when you need to be thinking
about surgery (or work for the rest of us)."
Apparently, all the characters
(and humans in general)
are trying, really trying,
to become these people they see in their head,
the versions of themselves who
are strong and successful and happy.

I cannot help but feel a very strong connection
with Ms Grey and her crew.
That there comes a point in time,
that we have to sit up, and listen to ourselves
– to what we want, where we're heading
and how we're gonna get there.

Becoming is hard ~ it hurts like hell
And can cost you friends and lovers
and career advancement.

A lot of changes have been taking place in my life...
from coming to terms with certain characters in my life
and learning to accept new ones…
from putting 110% into my new postition at work...
From trying to come to terms with some very big internal issues.
All of these things are big changes.

Some will succeed, and others will fail.
But all of them will try.

It's hard to discern which of these
changes would be the biggest in terms of impact.
All of them are rather profound
and all will likely have good outcomes to it.
The most surprising commonality of them all
is this ~ that I am trying.
Trying to see the good in each
of these changes and embrace them.

Some of these changes I can take in my stride.
But one of them scares the hell out of me,
and it is the one that I have pushed
to the very back of my head.
Unfortunately it always creeps back up on me.
I suppose, I have improved on this area,
in the sense that I have not gone
and done a Chris-usual but still hanging in there.

I suppose at the end of the day,
one has to take the leap of faith,
somehow, somewhere
and not think too much about it.

Because the alternative ~ standing still
Just.Isn't.An.Option.

Maybe someday, if I'm honest enough with myself,
I might just come outloud and say it... who knows eh?
Afterall, it's all about Becoming... who I want to be.

Stay ~ Sugaland

I've been sitting here staring
at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying,
praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying

And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting
With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying

What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

You keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used
and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bare
To love a man you have to share

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know
just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna
leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah

A Hypocritical World: Can Christians and Homosexuals Co-Exist?

I don't know about you, but I think we live in a hypocritical world. Christians seem to be running around judging homosexuals and spewing rhetoric based on scripture taken out of context, and the homosexuals turn around and tell Christians not to judge, but then write them off as being ignorant and closed-minded. I'm sorry, but as a homosexual and former Christian, I am very disappointed in both sides. Let me start by acknowledging that there are exceptions to both sides and that the follow is based on general observation, and not to be taken to heart by those to whom this does not apply.

To the Christians who are trying to convert people to Christianity: calling people sinners, quoting Bible verses out of context, and insisting that if they don't convert, they will go to hell is probably not a good way to start off a conversation. I have read and studied the Bible and I have yet to find an example of someone coming into a loving relationship with God through meeting someone who did nothing but shove religion down his/her throat in a judgemental fashion. Jesus only raised his voice in anger when he was around religious people. He did not try to convert people; he tried to teach them a better way through the way he lived his life, how he treated others, and the words he spoke. I think a lot of Christians end up using the Bible as a weapon instead of as a tool of instruction and that is one of the reasons I believe the church is failing to reach people. There are denominations that are seeing this error and trying to turn back the tide, but the floods of ignorance and hatred that have swept over much of our society are still strong within the church. Unless Christians start acting more like Christ and understand the concept of what Christ was really trying to do, Christianity will continue to gain more enemies than converts.

To my GLBT friends: I understand how hard it is to sit and listen to someone judge us like they know everything about us and tell us that we have "chosen" this path and that it will send us to hell. I understand how personal and angering these attacks can be. However, it is important to look past the words of hate and see where it is coming from. I have found that most people who speak out against our lifestyle are either insecure in their own sexuality due to natural internal conflicts or abuse, or they are people misguided by religion and society, who would rather write those of us who don't conform to societal norms as "unnatural," instead of getting to know us at a personal level. Neither scenario is a valid reason to spread hate and violence, but returning the hate and violence is not the answer. There are better and more effective ways of dealing with this people than getting in their faces and screaming at them. This kind of conflict is what most of them look for and we only fuel their the fire when we fight back.

The nniverse has a delicate balance of dark and light. Those who choose to fight evil with more evil ultimately make the world a darker place. Light, when present, always abolishes darkness. Let's consider light in this instance to be respect, unity, and acceptance created through education and mature, open-minded conversation. When we fight, we starve our flame of oxygen and it dies. When our light dies, the darkness wins. Now, imagine a world full of people fighting and only a few people holding a candle, trying to spread understanding and tolerance-- there isn't going to be much light is there? What would happen if a bunch of us got together and invested in a bunch of search lights? Well, those who live in the dark would have a harder time attacking openly.

Relating all of this back to the topic, as long as we fight ignorance with ignorance, more and more people will be pushed to the extremes, instead of being brought together in the middle. As long as people get defensive and offensive when discussing these issues and both sides put the other down by propagating stereotypes and the use of abusive language, we are going to see no real progress towards finding acceptance, on either side. I know how hard it is to just suck it up and be a bigger person, but I think it is absolutely essential to find any real solutions to this growing rift.

OMG An Update

Yea, so I've been seriously slacking on the posts... I've just been super busy... I've given up on my 30 day project for now, because I have so much other stuff going on, I've not had time to do anything really when it comes to going on dates... so yea, theres an update, I'll post more soon I promise